IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the international student enrolment numbers at De Salle University from 1980 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make a comparison where relevant.

The line graph below shows the international student enrolment numbers at De Salle University from 1980 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make a comparison where relevant.
#line #student #enrolment #numbers #salle #university #summarise #information #features #comparison
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
Linking Words
 line graph illustrates the thousands of
students
Use synonyms
 admitted at De Salle
University
Use synonyms
 from five different countries, India, Vietnam, Nepal, Indonesia and Colombia, between 1980 and 2020. The number of
students
Use synonyms
 enrolled at De Salle
University
Use synonyms
 increased significantly from all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
five countries over the four decades. There is a continuous increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 student admission at the
university
Use synonyms
. The most significant increase was from India, the number of
students
Use synonyms
 increased from 500 to 15000 in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1980 and 2020 respectively.
Also
Linking Words
, there was
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 registered at the
university
Use synonyms
 over one decade,
that is
Linking Words
 between 2010 and 2020,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Vietnam and Nepal. Colombia registered the least amount of
students
Use synonyms
 throughout the years, registering none in the year 1980 and about 1500
students
Use synonyms
 in 2020.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the enrolment of
Indonesia
Correct your spelling
Indonesian
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 at the
University
Use synonyms
 shows
minimal
Add an article
the minimal
show examples
 difference over the decades with lower admission,
this
Linking Words
 ranges between 800
students
Use synonyms
 and 7800
students
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mkultany on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, university with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enrolment numbers
  • international students
  • line graph
  • De Salle University
  • significant changes
  • sharp increases
  • stability
  • decline
  • fluctuations
  • global economic conditions
  • university policies
  • external factors
  • campus diversity
  • resources
  • reputation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: