IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#families #children #schools #taxes #support #education #system
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Some people
belives
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believes
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 that
taxes
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 for supporting
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education
Correct article usage
the education
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system
Use synonyms
 must not be forced
for
Change preposition
on
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 parents who send their offspring to private
schools
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. In my opinion, it is not a fair idea. First of all, Paying
taxes
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Add the particle
to help
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 to develop
the
Correct article usage
a
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 better
education
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system
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 for all groups of society. The government could build new
schools
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 in
poorer
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a poorer
the poorer
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part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
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 of
country
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the country
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 and improve the quality of
educations
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education
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
Iran
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,Iran
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 we have several states
such
Linking Words
 as Sistan
which
Correct word choice
where
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 people do not have enough budget to send their
children
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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private
schools
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. So,
government
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the government
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 should
developed
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develop
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 public
schools
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 to observe educational justice and free access to
schools
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 for all juveniles.
That is
Linking Words
 why all people including rich
families
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 should pay
taxes
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 for
education
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,
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apply
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 because that
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taxes
Fix the agreement mistake
tax
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constitutes
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constitute
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 a significant part of developing the educational
system
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
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wealthy
families
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 do not pay
taxes
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 for
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
the education
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system
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 the main cost of
develop
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developing
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schools
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 falls on the shoulder of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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poor
families
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. Unfortunately, most of that
families
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 can not afford
paying
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to pay
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 that amount of
taxes
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 for their
children
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, and
children
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forced
Add a missing verb
are forced
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 to leave
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school.
As a result
Linking Words
, society will lose numerous talents from these
children
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 who could serve their country in the future.
To sum up
Linking Words
, paying
taxes
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 for
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education
Correct article usage
the education
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system
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facilitate
Change the verb form
facilitates
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 the development of
schools
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 and college and all
children
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 can continue their study.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Non-payment of educational
taxes
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 by wealthy
families
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 slows down the development of
schools
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especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
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 in
poorer
Add an article
the poorer
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area
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areas
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 and many
children
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 are deprived of
education
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.
Submitted by ahmad on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tax exemption
  • public education
  • private schools
  • collective responsibility
  • societal welfare
  • equitable access
  • financial burden
  • social cohesion
  • tax credits
  • vouchers
  • subsidies
  • state-funded
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • public vs. private sector
  • quality of education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: