Children today play violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinion of this.

Children
's age is supposed to be
one
of the purest
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
because of their less understanding
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
the actual world and the innocence of truth. But, in recent years violence rate among
children
are increasing vigorously. Some people believe it is because of
the online
Change to a genitive case
the cruelty of the online game
the online game's cruelty
show examples
games
cruelty,
whereas
, others believe blaming
on
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apply
show examples
only
one
thing is not right.
However
, the
further
passage will elaborate on both
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
and in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
last
will conclude, including my conclusion. Technology is upgrading day by day and the new audience is joining
this
with kinds of devices. The group, which is
attracting
Wrong verb form
attracted
show examples
to it are
children
who are getting
addicated
Correct your spelling
addicted
to it at the speed of light.
One
of the reasons can be video
games
which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
they are
finding
Wrong verb form
found
show examples
intresting
Correct your spelling
interesting
,especially that include guns or violence.
This
also
making affect their brain which
causing
Wrong verb form
causes
show examples
headache
Add an article
a headache
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for the government. They are getting fond of the 'what we can say imaginary' and involving them in illegal activities and some serious crimes.
One
survey showed whatever the crime happening among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
more than fifty
percent
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per cent
show examples
are from big developed cities. People who agree with
this
, think is all because of violent
games
that any child can access , and to stop
this
government and the gaming companies should take some major steps to stop avoid crimes
in
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against
show examples
children
.
However
,
on the other hand
, chuck of people argue that
,
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apply
show examples
blaming only
to
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apply
show examples
the online gaming industry is totally unfair and
new
Correct word choice
that new
show examples
policies regarding guns and violent crimes are nurturing
children'
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
to get
involve
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
into
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in
show examples
illegal happening.
This
side
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site
show examples
,
furthermore
add
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adds
show examples
,
although
technology can be a small part of pushing kids
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
activities but making it completely responsible is slightly illogical. In conclusion,
crime
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the crime
show examples
rate among teenagers is indeed increasing, but I believe it's not just because of playing offensive
games
but
also
, the new gun-friendly policies that
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
passing in the
paralament
Correct your spelling
parliament
.
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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