Children today play violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinion of this.

#children #games #reason #violence #crime #cities #world

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Children

's age is supposed to be

one

of the purest

age

Fix the agreement mistake

ages

show examples

because of their less understanding

about

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show examples

the actual world and the innocence of truth. But, in recent years violence rate among

children

are increasing vigorously. Some people believe it is because of

the online

Change to a genitive case

the cruelty of the online game

the online game's cruelty

show examples

games

cruelty,

whereas

, others believe blaming

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apply

show examples

only

one

thing is not right.

However

, the

further

passage will elaborate on both

perspective

Fix the agreement mistake

perspectives

show examples

and in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

last

will conclude, including my conclusion. Technology is upgrading day by day and the new audience is joining

this

with kinds of devices. The group, which is

attracting

Wrong verb form

attracted

show examples

to it are

children

who are getting

addicated

Correct your spelling

addicted

to it at the speed of light.

One

of the reasons can be video

games

which

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

they are

finding

Wrong verb form

found

show examples

intresting

Correct your spelling

interesting

,especially that include guns or violence.

This

also

making affect their brain which

causing

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causes

show examples

headache

Add an article

a headache

show examples

for the government. They are getting fond of the 'what we can say imaginary' and involving them in illegal activities and some serious crimes.

One

survey showed whatever the crime happening among

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

more than fifty

percent

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per cent

show examples

are from big developed cities. People who agree with

this

, think is all because of violent

games

that any child can access , and to stop

this

government and the gaming companies should take some major steps to stop avoid crimes

Change preposition

against

show examples

children

However

on the other hand

, chuck of people argue that

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apply

show examples

blaming only

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apply

show examples

the online gaming industry is totally unfair and

new

Correct word choice

that new

show examples

policies regarding guns and violent crimes are nurturing

children'

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

to get

involve

Wrong verb form

involved

show examples

into

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show examples

illegal happening.

This

side

Correct your spelling

site

show examples

furthermore

add

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adds

show examples

although

technology can be a small part of pushing kids

Change preposition

into

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

activities but making it completely responsible is slightly illogical. In conclusion,

crime

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the crime

show examples

rate among teenagers is indeed increasing, but I believe it's not just because of playing offensive

games

but

also

, the new gun-friendly policies that

Correct article usage

the goverment

show examples

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

passing in the

paralament

Correct your spelling

parliament

Submitted by Chetan on Mon Jan 30 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

317 words

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Children today play violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities of the world. What are your opinion of this.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think foreign visitors should be charged more than local person when they visit the cultural and historical attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A foreign friend of yours plans to visit your place and stay with you,but you are not available on that date.give your friend another alternative date for the visit.In your letter,you should,apologise for it.Explain what you are doing on that date suggest to her an alternate time to come.

Since it is so easy to reach a large audience on the internet, people have to be exceptionally talented to become famous these days. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree er disagree with this statement?