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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Health experts say that walking is the best form of exercise; however, people now walk less. What could be the reason for this? What might encourage people to walk longer distance?

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It has long been observed that
people
Use synonyms
 are less interested to work, though walking has a number of health benefits.
According to
Linking Words
 the experts, it helps to calm our mind, lower stress
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 and reduce body fat as well. But, modernity has made
people
Use synonyms
 lazy. I suppose
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 self-determination and infrastructural development can encourage
people
Use synonyms
 doing a long
walk
Fix the agreement mistake
walks
show examples
. Here, the following paragraphs aim to propose some
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 to keep
people
Use synonyms
 walking and to keep
people
Use synonyms
 healthier. To start with, it is widely accepted that there is no exercise but walking is cheap and can be done by all age groups.
Inspite
Correct your spelling
In spite
 of that,
people
Use synonyms
 are frequently joining
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
gyms or hiring a personal trainer to
loss
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 weight. Studies show that modern cities are
Add an article
the lake
show examples
lake
Fix the agreement mistake
lakes
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 of parks, Gardens and wide footpaths where
people
Use synonyms
 can walk.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are forced to drive rather
Correct word choice
than
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walk to reach school offices or other places that are not always far from their houses.
Moreover
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, they are less facilitated to enjoy
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature. In
this
Linking Words
 context, Government should allocate budgets to construct national parks and stadiums to inspire children, youngsters and aged
people
Use synonyms
.
Likewise
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,
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of self-interest is one of the major reasons
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 decline
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 rate of walking. The invention of high-speed cars shortens the road.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can obtain all the necessary information like the dates of events, can buy
Add an article
a ticket
the ticket
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ticket
Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
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 online and
also
Linking Words
 can join a meeting sitting at home.
This
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 way of life pushes them to live in comfort. In
such
Linking Words
 a situation, public awareness could be raised
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 organising
a walking competitions
Correct the article-noun agreement
walking competitions
a walking competition
show examples
 at the local and regional levels. In a nutshell,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
modern trend demonstrates
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 decrease in
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
walk
Fix the agreement mistake
walks
show examples
. As it harms in
various
Change the article
a various
show examples
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
, some steps should ne to be taken immediately.
Along with
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 governmental actions ,
people
Use synonyms
 themself need to be concerned.

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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