In modern society, it is possible to go shopping, work and accommodate via the internet without face to face contact with one another. To what extent do you think this is a positive or negative development?

There has been a lot of technological
evolvement
Replace the word
evolution
show examples
in today's society.
This
leads to reduced
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
contacts
Fix the agreement mistake
contact
show examples
in a lot of areas of life. Today I will be discussing the negative aspects of
this
phenomenon. First of all, technological innovations can be difficult to teach and learn to operate. In the past few decades, the job equipment has changed beyond recognition. Because of that, older employees can find themselves unable to perform under current circumstances. Teaching how to manage the appliances requires more resources, specialists,
improvements
Correct word choice
and improvements
show examples
in the education system and schools. It is only a matter of time until a certain profession will be discarded as no longer needed and the people involved in it will lose their payment and similar social assurances.
Secondly
, the use of technology can cause various health problems. Most of the working hours are spent inside
due to
the need to have a power source and certain weather conditions like rain that can damage the devices. Having to spend most of the day indoors decreases the time outside, eliminating walks and other physical activities.
This
can cause weight gain, high blood pressure and other problems, even
worsen
Wrong verb form
worsening
show examples
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
show examples
mental health. Being in the sun
also
helps to naturally produce vitamin D, which is essential to the human body.
On the other hand
,
innovation
Correct article usage
the innovation
show examples
of computers and the internet makes communication and a number of tasks way faster
as well as
more convenient.
For example
,
sometime
Replace the word
some time
show examples
ago the electric bill needed to be paid in person,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
means that to pay one would have to go to a special institution,
wait
Correct word choice
and wait
show examples
in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
line. The ability to do these kinds of tasks online saves time, energy and similar resources. All in all, technological advancements can have a big negative impact so
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
should be thought out and used wisely.
Submitted by oimigle on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: