Experts say older people were happier and healteir in the past because they did more excercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas many now suffer from loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions ?

#experts #people #healteir #excercise #time #friends #loneliness #health

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In the current world,

family

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the family

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relationship

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has been decreasing currently and

people

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do not

spent

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spend

show examples

time

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with their elderly as

compered

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compared

show examples

past

Correct article usage

the past

show examples

so elder

people

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feel lonely,

Correct word choice

and unheapy

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unheapy

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unhappy

Also

Linking Words

, their

health

Use synonyms

are

Change the verb form

show examples

seen

Change preposition

as detrimentaly

show examples

detrimentaly

Correct your spelling

detrimentally

detrimental

This

Linking Words

essay will provide reasons to old

people

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feel bad and give some solutions to solve

this

Linking Words

circumstance. One of the reasons of elderly suffer from loneliness and

helth

Correct your spelling

health

issues is forgetting the importance of family

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relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

. In the past, all

family

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families

show examples

lived together and when they suffer from

somethings

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something

show examples

or feel sick, they can get support from their family.

However

Linking Words

todays

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today

people

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seek their needs from their family and they want to handle

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apply

show examples

Correct your spelling

own

show examples

Teherfor

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Therefore

people

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had

interupting

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interrupting

their

relation

Replace the word

relationships

show examples

Change preposition

with

show examples

family

Add an article

the family

a family

show examples

during

this

Linking Words

period.When

people

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become older, they can not help from their family so they feel alone.

Secondly

Linking Words

,in the modern world,

people

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do not have enough

time

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for family

becouse

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because

they work for their

achivement

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achievement

achievements

crazly

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crazy

crazily

. In

this

Linking Words

way,

people

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can not visit their

parents

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Also

Linking Words

,they can not create

time

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for calling.

Therefore

Linking Words

, elder

people

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do not help from their

children

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to fight

with

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apply

show examples

loneliness and

finally

Linking Words

, their

health

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become

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becomes

show examples

worse. There are two solutions which are teaching

children

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to how

importent

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important

of family

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relationship

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relationships

show examples

and

children

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need to call their

parents

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. First of all,

people

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do not have

time

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for

Correct pronoun usage

their parent

show examples

parent

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parents

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as mentioned before so their

relations'

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relations

show examples

strong decrease

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over

show examples

time

Use synonyms

Poeplo

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People

ought to

theach

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teach

how

importent

Correct your spelling

important

Use synonyms

relationship

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relationships

show examples

Add a missing verb

are as

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early as possible for

this

Linking Words

reasons

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reason

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and in the future, they will not face

with

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apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

problem.

Additionally

Linking Words

children

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have responsible.

For instance

Linking Words

, call their

parents

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to know their

health

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,problems etc.

Therefore

Linking Words

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

do not think that

Change the capitalization

show examples

am alone or feel upset.

Moreover

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

have to visit their family at least twice a year because these are our family and they

reised

Correct your spelling

raised

us. In short, if

children

Use synonyms

learn the importance level of family

relation ship

Correct your spelling

relationship

show examples

and they spent

time

Use synonyms

with

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

this

Linking Words

problem can be solved

easly

Correct your spelling

easily

To sum

Linking Words

Add a comma

,up

show examples

everythink

Correct your spelling

everything

that has been stated so far, elder

people

Use synonyms

feel alone and

Use synonyms

health

Correct pronoun usage

their health

show examples

problems getting significant because

people

Use synonyms

forget how important

Change preposition

apply

show examples

family relations

and

Add a missing verb

are and

show examples

people

Use synonyms

do not catch

time

Use synonyms

for spending

time

Use synonyms

with their

parents

Use synonyms

.On the other

hands

Fix the agreement mistake

hand

show examples

, if

people

Use synonyms

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

spend

time

Use synonyms

with family and learn

Change preposition

apply

show examples

how important

Change preposition

apply

show examples

family

Use synonyms

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

Add a missing verb

are, elderly

show examples

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

do not feel alone and upset.

Submitted by yunussemreozkaya on Mon Jan 30 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
57
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

388 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyles
technological advancements
work culture
urbanization
geographical separation
mental health stigma
traditional family structures
intergenerational living
physical activity
social interactions

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Experts say older people were happier and healteir in the past because they did more excercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas many now suffer from loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people’s salaries to pay for necessary Public services such as roads and schools. Others feel that high taxes are a bad thing Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people today struggle to use modern electronic technology such as smart phones and computers. Why do you think this is ? What can be done to solve this problem ?

in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some researchers believe that all children need to learn a musical instrument as part of their education. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?