Experts say older people were happier and healteir in the past because they did more excercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas many now suffer from loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions ?

#experts #people #healteir #excercise #time #friends #loneliness #health

In the current world,

family

Add an article

the family

show examples

relationship

has been decreasing currently and

people

do not

spent

Change the verb form

spend

show examples

time

with their elderly as

compered

Correct your spelling

compared

show examples

past

Correct article usage

the past

show examples

so elder

people

feel lonely,

Correct word choice

and unheapy

show examples

unheapy

Correct your spelling

unhappy

Also

, their

health

are

Change the verb form

show examples

seen

Change preposition

as detrimentaly

show examples

detrimentaly

Correct your spelling

detrimentally

detrimental

This

essay will provide reasons to old

people

feel bad and give some solutions to solve

this

circumstance. One of the reasons of elderly suffer from loneliness and

helth

Correct your spelling

health

issues is forgetting the importance of family

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

. In the past, all

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

lived together and when they suffer from

somethings

Fix the agreement mistake

something

show examples

or feel sick, they can get support from their family.

However

todays

Correct your spelling

today

people

seek their needs from their family and they want to handle

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct your spelling

own

show examples

Teherfor

Correct your spelling

Therefore

people

had

interupting

Correct your spelling

interrupting

their

relation

Replace the word

relationships

show examples

Change preposition

with

show examples

family

Add an article

the family

a family

show examples

during

this

period.When

people

become older, they can not help from their family so they feel alone.

Secondly

,in the modern world,

people

do not have enough

time

for family

becouse

Correct your spelling

because

they work for their

achivement

Correct your spelling

achievement

achievements

crazly

Correct your spelling

crazy

crazily

. In

this

way,

people

can not visit their

parents

Also

,they can not create

time

for calling.

Therefore

, elder

people

do not help from their

children

to fight

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

loneliness and

finally

, their

health

become

Change the verb form

becomes

show examples

worse. There are two solutions which are teaching

children

to how

importent

Correct your spelling

important

of family

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

and

children

need to call their

parents

. First of all,

people

do not have

time

for

Correct pronoun usage

their parent

show examples

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

show examples

as mentioned before so their

relations'

Change noun form

relations

show examples

strong decrease

Change preposition

over

show examples

time

Poeplo

Correct your spelling

People

ought to

theach

Correct your spelling

teach

how

importent

Correct your spelling

important

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

Add a missing verb

are as

show examples

early as possible for

this

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

and in the future, they will not face

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

problem.

Additionally

children

have responsible.

For instance

, call their

parents

to know their

health

,problems etc.

Therefore

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

do not think that

Change the capitalization

show examples

am alone or feel upset.

Moreover

children

have to visit their family at least twice a year because these are our family and they

reised

Correct your spelling

raised

us. In short, if

children

learn the importance level of family

relation ship

Correct your spelling

relationship

show examples

and they spent

time

with

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

this

problem can be solved

easly

Correct your spelling

easily

To sum

Add a comma

,up

show examples

everythink

Correct your spelling

everything

that has been stated so far, elder

people

feel alone and

health

Correct pronoun usage

their health

show examples

problems getting significant because

people

forget how important

Change preposition

apply

show examples

family relations

and

Add a missing verb

are and

show examples

people

do not catch

time

for spending

time

with their

parents

.On the other

hands

Fix the agreement mistake

hand

show examples

, if

people

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

spend

time

with family and learn

Change preposition

apply

show examples

how important

Change preposition

apply

show examples

family

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

Add a missing verb

are, elderly

show examples

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

do not feel alone and upset.

Submitted by yunussemreozkaya on Mon Jan 30 2023

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for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
57Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

388 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Experts say older people were happier and healteir in the past because they did more excercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas many now suffer from loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Compared to past, more people are now trying to learn a foreign language to increase their chances of landing a better job in their native country or to have better opportunities to work abroad. To what extent do you agree with this point of view?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

The housing shortage in big cities can cause severe social consequences. Some people think only government action can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement??

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the cause? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?