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Experts say older people were happier and healteir in the past because they did more excercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas many now suffer from loneliness and health problems.

#experts #people #healteir #excercise #time #friends #loneliness #health
In the current world,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family relationship has been decreasing currently and
people
 do not spend
time
 with their elderly as compared to the past so elder
people
 feel lonely,
unhappy
Correct word choice
and unhappy
show examples
.
Also
, their
health
 is seen detrimentally.
This
 essay will provide reasons to old
people
 feel bad and give some solutions to solve
this
 circumstance. One of the reasons of elderly suffer from loneliness and
health
 issues is forgetting the importance of family
relationships
. In the past, all families lived together and when they suffer from something or feel sick, they can get support from their family.
However
, today,
people
 seek their needs from their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 and they want to handle
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 own.
Therefore
,
people
 had
interrupting
Wrong verb form
interrupted
show examples
 their
relationships
 with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family during
this
 period.When
people
 become older, they can not help from their family so they feel alone.
Secondly
,in the modern world,
people
 do not have enough
time
 for family because they work for their
achievement
Fix the agreement mistake
achievements
show examples
 crazily. In
this
 way,
people
 can not visit their
parents
.
Also
,they can not create
time
 for calling.
Therefore
, elder
people
 do not help from their
children
 to fight loneliness and
finally
, their
health
 becomes worse. There are two solutions which are teaching
children
 to how important
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
family
relationships
and
Add a missing verb
are and
show examples
children
 need to call their
parents
. First of all,
people
 do not have
time
 for
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
 as mentioned before so their relations
strong
Change the word
strongly
show examples
 decrease over
time
.
People
 ought to teach how important
relationships
as
Add a missing verb
are as
show examples
 early as possible
for
this
 reason and in the future, they will not face
this
 problem.
Additionally
,
children
 have responsible.
For instance
, call their
parents
 to know their
health
,problems etc.
Therefore
, the elderly do not think that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am alone or feel upset.
Moreover
.
children
 have to visit their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 at least twice a year because these are our family and they raised us. In short, if
children
 learn the importance level of family
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 and they spent
time
 with them,
this
 problem can be solved easily. To sum ,up everything that has been stated so far, elder
people
 feel alone and their
health
 problems getting significant because
people
 forget how important family relations are and
people
 do not catch
time
 for spending
time
 with their
parents
.
On the other hand
, if
people
 spend
time
 with family and learn how important family
relationships
 are, elderly the elderly do not feel alone and upset.
Submitted by yunussemreozkaya on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • technological advancements
  • work culture
  • urbanization
  • geographical separation
  • mental health stigma
  • traditional family structures
  • intergenerational living
  • physical activity
  • social interactions
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