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Band 4.5

Should young people follow the older people’s examples or it’s good for them to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #people’s #it’s #challenge #thoughts
Gone are the days when the key to success
lied
Replace the word
lay
show examples
 just in hard
work
 and nothing else. It is believed by some that one must listen to and learn from the experiences of elders to succeed in
life
 and in contradiction, there are others who feel that
life
 is neither
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 nor predictable and
hence
, they must go with the flow. I shall discuss both views in the upcoming paragraphs. It cannot be denied that our elders are experienced and mature enough to teach us crucial lessons
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
life
. They say that a person’s success is always in his hands and
hence
, hard
work
 combined with positive thoughts could lead him
achieve
Add the particle
to achieve
show examples
 his goals. Obviously, they have come across many ups and downs in their lives which ended up teaching some good
as well as
 bad lessons to them.
Moreover
, youngsters are at their developing stage and are certainly unaware of various tactics of people and can
therefore
 easily be deceived by anyone on their paths.
However
, the youth today is facing immense competition in each and every field and
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
 hard efforts to cope-up with the trends.
Hence
, there is
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of pressure on their minds on dealing with day-to-day problems. As globalization has shrunk the world into a global village, they are expected to do smart
work
 rather than hard
work
. So, the older generation cannot help them with their ideas and opinions as they didn’t face
such
 peer competition at their time. It is irrefutable fact that the level of technology being developed today is so advanced that
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 latest gadget of today becomes obsolete by tomorrow and
therefore
 it is really important to keep up with the times. To end with, our seniors can help us in providing
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 direction to us when we are in need as they have bundles of moral values which will help us to live
life
 ethically and socially. But at the same time, one should never forget the demand of the modern era which asks us to be smart, knowledgeable and indeed capable enough to handle
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
life
 issues with ease.
Submitted by ahuja.kajal94 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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