Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
One of the social concerns today relates to road
safety
. While
it is commonly suggested that strict punishments for offences are the key to limiting the number of traffic
accidents, others believe that there will be more effective measures to keep people
safe while
travelling on the streets. I’m going to discuss these opposing points of view. I myself strongly support the point of view of harsh punishment.
On the one hand, it is argued that punishments for those who break the driving laws should be severe. Firstly
, harsh punishments like driving licence withdrawal can negatively affect significantly to people
’s daily lives.
In fact, drivers cannot travel on the streets without a driving licence, or they have to spend more money and time travelling by taxi, bus, etc.; Rephrase
significantly.
As a consequence
, they have to be more conscious of driving. Secondly
, a heavy fine would be a great way to keep people
more cautious when driving. Losing a big sum of money always makes people
feel regretful. They will not have to pay that fine if they take more control of their driving.
On the other hand
, it is strongly believed by others that there are some other more effective ways to improve road safety
. In fact, there can be educational classes for offenders, posters on the roads about traffic
safety
, etc. to help people
enhance their awareness of traffic
issues. People
often have this
opinion because they believe human beings are knowledgeable enough to follow the advantageous things for their own lives. A second point is that prevention is better than cure. For example
, with effective reminders such
as billboards A particularly good example here is when we drive carelessly, the risk of traffic
accidents is very high. But no one wants the worst things to happen and then
solve its side effects. So what the officers need to do is remind everybody constantly, let them understand deeply what is good or bad to each traveller and somehow they volunteer to obey the rules to protect themselves first
In conclusion, it is commonly thought that serious punishment for driving offences is the major factor to curtail the risk of traffic
accidents meanwhile, others assume that there are still different measures to keep road safety
. Personally, I tend to believe that strong punishment is a more effective method. People
will be scared of the disadvantages of severe fines and change their attitudes as well as
actions quickly in a better manner.Submitted by yeshomeclass on
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task response
Ensure a more balanced and in-depth discussion of each view; the essay leans towards one viewpoint and could expand on the other more thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Mix complex structures with simpler ones to enhance readability, and avoid repetition by using a wider range of vocabulary and synonyms.
task response
For higher scores, it is important to provide clear, relevant and specific examples to support main points. Use concrete statistics, facts or studies if possible.
coherence cohesion
Use varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly and signpost the essay structure more clearly.
task response
Ensure a clear thesis statement that reflects a balanced view of the discussion, and support it throughout the essay.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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