IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You have the opportunity to visit a foreign country for two weeks. Which country would you like to visit? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice.

#opportunity #visit #country #two #weeks #choice
Actually
Add a comma
,Actually
show examples
 I have had the opportunity to visit or was adjective life in
Australia
 for one year, it was not only two weeks but,
also
 only
Australia
 stay over two weeks, so that’s me make my reasons of
Australia
 crate
this
 topic. I was a lucky man in
Taiwan
 because in
Taiwan
 not everyone can discover
this
 word, have some humans always stay in the place. 5 years before , I got sick of megrims, I won't kill myself, and
then
 before I died should out of
Taiwan
 once. So I got the opportunity to plan and do it.
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
 I read many websites, a study which country was friendly to visit, and
then
 I saw TV Chanel's name the king of adventure, the host YouShenWang went to
Australia
 and share his experience there, I hear and feel I can try to work holiday saving money and for around the world after
Australia
’s life, because there pay so much contrast with
Taiwan
, to
suffice
Add the particle
tosuffice
show examples
 espouse to my dream for around the world. ,
Moreover
Australia
 is a giant place, and there has a rich ocean around there, I liked diving before out to
Taiwan
,and I can practice my diving skills and enjoy the ocean view. Though my English is not well when I joined different talks, they encourage me [ don’t fear the world , just do it , in
Australia
 more people can’t say any word of English, they can live so you better they , you can do better],they want to tell me
Australia
’s people are friendly. Summerise, that’s the reason chose to stay and live in
Australia
,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 the moment rich my life and give me colour, wrote before I saw the king of discovery with his wife in
Australia
 now and going to the place of memories so
this
 topic really touches my heart.
Submitted by workthing5421 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: