Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction

It is undeniable that
money
is very essential in
people
of life. Some
people
suggest that a big income is important for
selectingof
Correct your spelling
selecting
selecting of
a
job
,
while
others
suggest
otherwise
. After thorough consideration, I believe that the most common reason is comfortable for spend of
money
nowadays and after retirement.
This
issue will be examined in the following essay.
First
Add a comma
,First
show examples
all of, the
job
market is very competitive,
important
Correct word choice
and important
show examples
careers will receive a
salary
much more than
others
. In careers
such
as information technology that there is a duty to solve problems of the computer systems in each company. Selection
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
career
a
Change preposition
with a
show examples
big income is very important for existence because we can’t estimate
the
Correct word choice
whether the
show examples
economy certainly whether it will increase or decrease, when the product price raise, we will save
money
easy than another
job
.
On the other hand
, if a
job
a
Change preposition
with a
show examples
big income makes us unhappy, it will affect us to have no
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
motivation of working, until want to leave from
job
.
For example
, co-workers don’t participate in working and accuse us of things that are not true.
However
,
money
will be an important factor for a living but if the environment of working is bad, we should leave
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
job
for better mental health.
Furthermore
,
job
satisfaction will make us
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
progress in working fast than
others
because
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
good environment can encourage diligence to work. The administration of
government
can affect to specify the rate of
salary
, by career be paid attention to, they will give helpfulness extremely.
For example
,
Doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
can heal a lot of
people
,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
government
saw
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the benefits of
this
job
and offer to help with scholarships to the university and
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
in
salary
. I think that
government
should pay attention to each career equally because
people
will be able to choose a profession that they like rather than choose a profession that does not like but more
salary
. In conclusion, I strongly believe that it is more advantageous for choosing a big
salary
to be lived conveniently in
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
emergency situations and
others
.
Government
should regard the importance of all careers should be equality to choose the
job
that we like, not choose from amount of
money
.
Submitted by nakassorn on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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