IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that climate change has the greatest effect on people’s way of life. Others believe the economy of the region has the greatest effect. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #climate #change #effect #people’s #life #economy #region
Many topics we can gain from newspapers or social media and
climate
change
 is one of them. Nowadays, plenty of
people
 assume
climate
change
 can increase the temperature of the earth so it forces
people
 to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 that situation.
Furthermore
, the
economy
 in the place where we live
also
 makes us adjust our lifestyle to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fit with our environment.
Climate
change
 has been a hot topic lately since it gives
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 impact on humans and the most noticeable problem is an
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
earth
Change noun form
earth's
show examples
 temperature. In Indonesia
for instance
,
people
 who live in Bandung, which is known as
highland
Correct article usage
the highland
show examples
, need Air Conditioner (AC) and it's an adaptation done by humans to keep feeling cold.
Climate
change
 not only can affect temperature but
also
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
makes
messy
Correct article usage
a messy
show examples
weather
 schedule.
This
 random
weather
 creates new habits that are made so
people
 can go their whole lives without being bothered by the
weather
. Workers who always bring their
umbrella
Fix the agreement mistake
umbrellas
show examples
 and consume vitamins are
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 that came from random
weather
 problems.
People
 who live in Jakarta and
people
 who live in Semarang surely
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 different lifestyles and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
because
Add the preposition
ofbecause
show examples
 the
rate
 of
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 there.
Fix the agreement mistake
Regions
show examples
Region
Add an article
The region
A region
show examples
Add the comma(s)
, where have high rate economy make sellers,
show examples
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 have high
rate
economy
 make sellers can sell their products
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 as they know
people
 who live there can afford to buy
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Same
Correct article usage
The same
show examples
 way of selling can not
applied
Add a missing verb
be applied
show examples
 in low
rate
economy
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
. That
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
 makes
people
 need to adjust their lifestyle to
place
Correct article usage
the place
show examples
 where they live.
For example
, Semarang
people
 only need Rp 10.000 to get Nasi Padang (
Indonesia
Correct your spelling
Indonesian
show examples
 traditional food) but in
Jakarta
Add a comma
,Jakarta
show examples
 you need to spend as much money as Rp 15.000 to get the same food. Not only that
,
Add the word(s)
but,
show examples
the economic
rate
 in a
region
also
 give
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the government
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the tax
rate
. Either
climate
change
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
Correct article usage
the region
show examples
region
Change noun form
region's
show examples
 economic
rate
 can affect
people
’s
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
. In my own opinion
climate
change
 give more impact compared
region
Change noun form
region's
show examples
 economic
rate
 since
climate
change
 could involve to world community but
Correct article usage
the region
show examples
region
Change noun form
region's
show examples
 economic
rate
 only affects that
region
.
Submitted by muh.yassirullah on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • weather patterns
  • food production
  • water supply
  • natural disasters
  • health problems
  • migration
  • employment opportunities
  • housing affordability
  • infrastructure development
  • consumer choices
  • social mobility
  • intertwined
  • agricultural productivity
  • healthcare costs
  • solutions
What to do next:
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