The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting andreporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting andreporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The provided diagram illustrates the process of manufacturing
sugar
from
sugar
cane. The process includes seven vital operations; growing, harvesting, crushing,purifying,evaporating,
seperating
Correct your spelling
separating
, drying and cooling. The procedure includes both humans and machines.
Firstly
, it takes
sugar
cane to grow up to 12-18 months until they become mature. As the second step, fully grown plants in large-scale farms, are
harvest
Wrong verb form
harvested
show examples
by machines
while
small-scale
Change preposition
in small-scale
show examples
farms
harvesting
Wrong verb form
harvest
show examples
by humans, and
then
hand it over to the manufacturing procedure. In the next stage, harvest goes through a crushing process, which involved a separate device,
as a result
, it turns into juice which purifies through a limestone filter in the fourth step. Purified extract from the filter, stores in a boiler and heats up until it evaporates and transforms juice into syrup.
Next,
the event of separation of
sugar
crystals from syrup occurs in the centrifuge.
Finally
, the outcome from the centrifuge starts to dry and cool, which creates regular
sugar
crystals.
Submitted by dmdeemanthakasun on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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