Labour-saving devices such as dishwashers and communication tools such as computers are supposed to make our lives easier. However, some people argue that these devices only make them more difficult. Does modern technology reduce or increase stress?
The amount of labour-saving devices and communication tools has rapidly increased in our everyday lives. And
due to
this
fact, lots of people claim modern technology to be irreplaceble
Correct your spelling
irreplaceable
improvment
Correct your spelling
improvement
while
others find it rather stressful, than helpful. Let`s dive deeper in
Change preposition
into
this
issue.
The reality is that none of us can imagine our routine without a long list of tools such
as phones, laptops, washing maschines
etc. One doesn`t feel in a comfort not having them and the reasons for Correct your spelling
machines
such
feelings are pretty obvious. There is no need to do the washing-up
when you have a dishwasher, groceries can be ordered in one click, all your friends are almost Correct your spelling
washing up
everytime
online and even seeing a doctor could be done using a phone call. The main advantage is your time and money Replace the word
every time
being
saved and productivity arises.
Wrong verb form
are
On the other hand
, intensive usage of technology has several significant disadvantages. First of all, lack
of Internet connection could make people panic and feel Correct article usage
a lack
stressful
. Replace the word
stressed
Moreover
, in some bad cases, it could lead to addiction and therefore
problems with mental health. Especially children are under attack of being harmfully influenced by overusing their devices. That`s why a lot of parental controll
apps are being created nowadays.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
control
personally
I believe that all Add a comma
personally,
of
Change preposition
apply
modern
technologies are Add an article
the modern
only
tools which each person should efficiently implement in their lives. Correct article usage
the only
Meaning
that everyone is in charge of the consequences he or she may face Wrong verb form
This means
as a result
of being involved in our, probably the most technological, era.Submitted by helgavitalivna on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear response to the topic, discussing both sides of the argument. However, it could benefit from more specific examples to support the main points. Try to include real-world instances or studies to illustrate your arguments more vividly.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, the essay moves logically from one point to another. However, some transitional phrases could be used more effectively to enhance the flow. For instance, phrases like 'on the contrary' or 'in addition' can help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
language
There are some minor grammatical errors and typographical mistakes such as 'maschines' instead of 'machines', and 'controll' instead of 'control'. Be sure to proofread your essay to catch these errors, as they can detract from the overall quality of your writing.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction sets the stage well for the discussion, and your conclusion effectively summarises your viewpoint.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clearly expressed, and you have a balanced approach by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of modern technology.
logical structure
The central points are well supported, and you have a logical structure to your essay, making it easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.