Some people the aim of university education is to help graduates get better job . Other believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society

#people #aim #university #education #graduates #job #individuals #society

Nowadays , more and more

people

are making the choice to go to

university

While

some

people

are of the opinion that the only purpose of

Correct article usage

show examples

university

education is to find

good

Change the article

a good

show examples

job

. But , other humans think that society and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

individuals benefit in

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

good ways. One of the main goals of

university

Correct article usage

a university

show examples

is to secure a better

job

Number

Change the article

A number

The number

show examples

people

want to improve their skills . They think that one of the best ways to do

this

get

Fix the infinitive

to get

show examples

a place

Change preposition

show examples

university

. If

who

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

a qualification ,

this

person can get a

job

easy

Change the word

easily

show examples

That is

why

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they try to get into

university

Moreover

, these days , our complex world could use perfect personnel. Technology is growing up very fast .

That is

why

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

employees have to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

broaden

Fix the infinitive

to broaden

show examples

their

horizon

Fix the agreement mistake

horizons

show examples

Also

, they need to study

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show examples

university

However

, there are other benefits for individuals and society.

Firstly

, the independence of living away from home is

Change the article

apply

show examples

useful.

This

is because it can

helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

students to develop their skills as other

people

In addition

, many students will have to leave their families and meet new

people

Also

makin

Correct your spelling

making

a friend in

other place

Change the wording

another place

other places

show examples

As a result

, their life experience will increase. All things considered, I believe that

main

Correct article usage

the main

show examples

aim of

university

Correct article usage

a university

show examples

education is to get the best

job

, there are

clearly

Change the adverb

clear

show examples

benefits

for

Change preposition

show examples

getting a

job

easy

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Tue Jan 31 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

242 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people the aim of university education is to help graduates get better job . Other believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

University students must pay all tuition fees, because it benefits mostly them individually, rather than the society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

The older people who need employment have to compete with younger ones. What problems can this create? What are some solutions?

You stayed with your friend and by mistake carried home one of his objects. Write a letter and explain: - How you enjoyed staying with your friend. - Explain the object which you brought with you by mistake and explain how the mistake happened. - Mention how you plan to return the object.

Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure . Some believe this travel has a negative impact on the countries travelled to . To what extent do you agree or disagree

Nowadays, many people change jobs quite regularly, rather than working in one company for their entire career. Why do you think this is happening? How can companies keep their workers?