IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Government should focus thier spending in public service rather than on arts such as music and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#government #focus #thier #service #arts #music
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It has long been argued that the prime
resposibity
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responsibility
 of the Government is to serve the
people
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,
whereas
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 others believe that cultural activities should be emphasized by the Authority. In my opinion,
state
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the state
show examples
 should promote arts and culture
along with
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 providing common goods.
According to
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 the experts, creative works like drawing and singing help
people
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 in the process of development
as well as
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
boosts working capacity. Here, the following paragraphs aim to highlight some of the arguments in favour of my viewpoint. To start with, entertainment is one of the fundamental human rights. Since the ancient period of human civilization,
people
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 are writing songs; making
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tones which reflect their life. In fact,
people
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's lives are inextricably linked with art.
In addition
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, these preserve a nation's history.
Moreover
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, when an individual involves in art, it gives him or her pleasure. So, if the section is subsidised, the state's citizens can get more opportunities to contribute as a painter or as a poet.
Likewise
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, promoting arts and culture should accelerate a country's economy. Different studies show that involving in cultural activities in laser time increases the capacity of working. It helps to calm the nerves, reduce stress
level
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levels
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 and boost energy.
Furthermore
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,
painting
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paintings
show examples
 can be sold
in
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at
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higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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price
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prices
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 or can be exhibited in foreign museums or events. In a nutshell, artistic works are the biggest wealth of a nation. These activities
not
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are not
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 only important for an individual's cognitive development but
also
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 for national growth.
Hence
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, I firmly believe that if it is
priorityzed
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prioritised
 simultaneously with public goods and services, it can strengthen a country economically and culturally.
Submitted by rishi.seehra on

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