The number of prisoner in thousands in five different countries from 1930 to 1980

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The bar chart illustrates
number
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a number
the number
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of prisoners from 1930 to 1980. It can be seen that America was the country whose the highest imprisonment,
while
the least was Great Britain.
In addition
,
prisoned
Correct article usage
the prisoned
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individuals' population in
USA
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the USA
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seems
fluctuated
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to fluctuate
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, but Canada
had
Wrong verb form
has
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growth
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grown
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. Throughout the period,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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saw a fluctuation
of
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in
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imprisonment
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
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, ranging between over 90 and under 140
thousands
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thousand
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in 1970 and the subsequent year, respectively.
On the contrary
,
population
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the population
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of
incarcenated
Correct your spelling
incarcerated
people in the UK escalated from about 30 to slightly over 80 thousand. In 1930,
number
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a number
the number
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of jailed people in Canada was exactly at 100
thousands
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thousand
show examples
,
however
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however,
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it fell drastically in
year
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the year
a year
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after by more than 50
thousands
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thousand
show examples
,
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apply
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and ended with approximately 50 thousand
in
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at
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the end of the period.
This
was similar
with
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to
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Australia's figure
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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decreased from about 70 to 50
thousands
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thousand
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, which registered a growth in
couple
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a couple
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of years from 1950 before it began to
went
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go
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down again.
Following
this
, jailed people's population in New Zealand plummeted for 2 years after the first year of the period by 50
thousands
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thousand
show examples
. After that, it had
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
growth to over 60
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
, before the prisoners declined to about 50
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Support main points with relevant data and examples. Elaborate on the data by comparing figures, stating trends, and providing explanations or reasons where applicable.
task achievement
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task achievement
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task achievement
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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