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Band 4

More and more adults have continued to live with their parents for many years after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages of this choice outweigh disadvantages?

#adults #parents #years #education #jobs #choice
After some
people
 have finished
education
Correct pronoun usage
their education
show examples
 and found their job, they choose to live with their
Parents
 for many years. I believe that the advantages of
this
 choice outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
. On the one hand, some
people
 living with their
parents
 could save a large amount of money and deal with some difficulties in daily life.
For instance
,
people
 could not pay for
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 water bill, gas bill, electric
bill
Fix the agreement mistake
bills
show examples
 and so on, because their
parents
 can use their salary to pay for them. They can use
their
Change the pronoun
them
show examples
 to do something that they enjoy.
Besides
, young
people
 are busy working every single day, they do not have enough time to do housework,
such
 as wash clothes,
cook
Wrong verb form
cooking
show examples
 dinner and so on. Their
parents
 can help them do some housework, so they save more time to have a rest.
On the other hand
, more and more young
people
 are under pressure,
living
Correct word choice
and living
show examples
 with their
parents
 could help them relieve their stress from their job. They can do some outdoor activities,
such
 as football, basketball, and so on. It not only
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 them relieve their stress but
also
 strengthen their family bonds. If young
people
 do not live with their
parents
, they may have a sense of
isolate
Replace the word
isolation
show examples
, and they may have nowhere to release their pressure. They may suffer from mental
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
. In conclusion, my view is that living with
parents
 has more advantages.
parents
 play an important role in our daily life. We should cherish the days with our
parents
.
Submitted by 806960230 on

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  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial benefit
  • supportive network
  • cultural expectations
  • family cohabitation
  • family bonds
  • lack of privacy
  • personal space
  • emotional dependency
  • mental dependency
  • life's pressures
  • inter-generational conflicts
  • lifestyle differences
  • familial relationships
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