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Band 4.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many help problems. Sugar products should be made be made more expensive to courage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words.

#food #drink #products #level #sugars #sugar #courage #people
Nowadays, most of the foods and drinks that we
consumption
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consume
show examples
 in our day-to-day life, contains different types of flavours,
colorings
Change the spelling
colourings
show examples
 and different amount of
sugar
 levels. Though these think help to attract
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
custemers
Correct your spelling
customers
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the products,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will cause to damage our physical and mental health. In
this
 essay, I will suppose that government should pay
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
attention to
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
 the target audience by increasing the price of the product.
Firstly
, I extremely believe these eating and drinking items, are harmful to our body as it contains
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 amount of
sugar
 which will cause to build up so many healthcare problems,
such
 as obesity,
diobetics
Correct your spelling
diabetics
diabetes
, etc. Though there is a
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
 code system to identify the
sugar
 level of the item, we don’t care about that.
For instance
, all types of soft drinks have
sugar
 and manufacturers add chemicals to increase the taste which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 cancer caused and we usually drink during the hot days as it is cheap and it will make instant satisfaction.
Moreover
, fast, junk and instant food are the most dangerous food which
consist
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consists
show examples
sakerin
Correct your spelling
saker
saker in
.
As a result
 of consuming these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of foods, European people suffer from non-spreading diseases.
Secondly
, I think that government have
power
Change the article
the power
show examples
 to create
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pressure on the companies which make these beverages and appetisers.
Furthermore
, they can impose new taxes to discourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
production
as well as
 consumers by
rising
Add an article
the rising
show examples
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
 of the product. It is the best way to prevent
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the drawbacks of eating these harmful items. Eventually, I can conclude that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
products which
contains
Change the verb form
contain
show examples
 high
sugar
 level, definitely damage our physical and mental fitness. So, the only way to decrease the effect is
increase
Change the verb form
to increase
increasing
show examples
 the cost of the products.
Submitted by kavindianjalee on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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