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Band 4

In the last few decades there have been more and more cases of famous people being hounded by the press. Some people think that famous people in the media have no right to privacy. To what extent do you agree?

#decades #cases #people #press #media #right #privacy
Nowadays, famous
persons
Replace the word
people
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 are surrounded by
hundred
Correct your spelling
hundreds
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 of paparazzi who record all their personal details. Some people argued that celebrities do not deserve privacy and should expose their lives to
large
Add an article
a large
the large
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 public. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with
this
 point of view because everyone has the right to preserve his personal life. Fans have become crazy about following each
details
Change to a singular noun
detail
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 of the private life of their idol. Indeed, they do not understand that famous people are
also
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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who
Correct word choice
and
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 need to live in peace without being constantly disturbed by followers.
For instance
, many youngsters stay day and night next to the residence of celebrities in the hope to see them or taking a selfie with them.
This
 behaviour is mainly
due to
 the influence of media that spreads any scandal events in the breaking news.
Furthermore
, because of their selfish thinking, fans are convinced that the cost of becoming famous
rely
Correct subject-verb agreement
relies
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 on exposing privacy to the public
whithout
Correct your spelling
without
 considering
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individual choice.
As a result
, celebrities seeking
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
glory and money find themselves exposing every
details
Change to a singular noun
detail
show examples
 even if they are opposed
to
Correct pronoun usage
itto
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.
Moreover
,
this
 invasive behaviour has caused mental issues and addiction to
Add an article
the drug
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drug
Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
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 in order to reduce the pressure and sadness in
this
 kind
if
Correct your spelling
of
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knowned
Correct your spelling
known
 people. In conclusion, privacy should be a right for everyone even for the celebrity
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. It is essential to spread awareness in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society, especially for the younger generations that lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
morals and values.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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