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Band 5

Some people believe that children should do what their parents tell them to do; others think children must learn to think for themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.I

#people #children #parents
In
this
 contemporary era,there is
heated
Add an article
a heated
the heated
show examples
 argument over the issues that
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of individuals believe that
pupils
 should do in their
life
 whatever guardians teach them.
However
,others oppose
this
 notion that
learns
Replace the word
learners
show examples
 must
learn
Add the particle
tolearn
show examples
 think for themselves.
This
 essay favour in overweight mentioned
phenomenonan
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
phenomenon an
 and both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
view will
be discuss
Change the verb form
be discussed
show examples
 in the upcoming paragraph. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 adequate evidence
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 statement which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
substantial
Replace the word
substantially
show examples
 the
top notch
Add a hyphen
top-notch
show examples
 reason is
parents
knows
Correct subject-verb agreement
know
show examples
 everything about their
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
 because
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
 gave birth to them and
learner's
Correct article usage
the learner's
show examples
 guardian
also
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
show examples
 through their own aged group.Adding more to it it is better for
pupils
 that if
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 mother,father decide their future for them for their excellent growth
im
Correct your spelling
in
 their
life
 as they know about learners what wrong and right for them.
Additionally
Add a comma
,Additionally
show examples
 authors have full right to take a decision
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their own
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 nowadays
pupils
 are not listening to their
parents
 regarding their marriage purpose children do love marriage without taking any decisions for their guardians but
end
Add an article
the end
show examples
 of the day they have to suffer
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 in their
life
.In recent research there are only 10%
love
Change preposition
of love
show examples
 marriages are successful whiles others
unseccessful
Correct your spelling
unsuccessful
. Probing ahead,
On the other hand
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
life
 learners are very high potential and
clever
Add a missing verb
are clever
show examples
 so,since
childhood
Add a comma
,childhood
show examples
 some
pupils
 already decided about their career.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 are very independent nowadays
although
 they can travel without their
parents
 without any fear
also
 learners can live and study overseas independently without any
parents
Change noun form
parent's
parents'
show examples
ristriction
Correct your spelling
restriction
.
Besides
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 they can set their own goal for their future. In conclusion,In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 guardians have to let
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 do whatever they want to become in their
life
 as per as they
are go
Change the verb form
are going
show examples
 on the right way.
However
,
parents
 do not have to criticise their own
life
 schedule so,they can perform better in the future.
Submitted by sharma1997.rahulthakur on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • obey
  • authority
  • guidance
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • beneficial
  • harmful
  • mistakes
  • independent
  • critical thinking
  • creativity
  • problem-solving
  • responsibility
  • self-reliance
  • opinion
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