IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
 bar chart depicts the customs
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 purchasing and drinking
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea in five Australian
cities
Use synonyms
, including Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide and Hobart. It is
obviously
Replace the word
obvious
show examples
 that the
residents
Use synonyms
 in four of the five
cities
Use synonyms
 prefer going to
café
Correct article usage
a café
show examples
 to consuming at home in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks. 63% of the Melbourne
residents
Use synonyms
 consumed tea or
coffee
Use synonyms
 by going to the café, accounting for the highest proportion of all the
cities
Use synonyms
. Approximately 61%, 56% and 63% of the
residents
Use synonyms
 in Sydney, Brisbane and Hobart did the same way.
By contrast
Linking Words
, more citizens bought instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 than drinking outside in Adelaide
last
Linking Words
 month, taking up half of all.
While
Linking Words
 in
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 four
cities
Use synonyms
, the
willing
Replace the word
willingness
show examples
 of buying instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 was in between
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 and drinking in
café
Correct article usage
a café
show examples
. Apparently, all of the
residents
Use synonyms
 in these
cities
Use synonyms
 do not enjoy purchasing fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to other drinking habits. Especially
Brisbane
Change preposition
in Brisbane
show examples
 and Adelaide, only about one-third of the
residents
Use synonyms
 bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 recently. In general, it can be proposed that Australian people consume
coffee
Use synonyms
 a lot, especially in café.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, cities, residents, café with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey
  • coffee
  • tea
  • buying habits
  • drinking habits
  • Australian cities
  • consumption
  • respondents
  • regular
  • participants
  • levels
  • observed
  • popular
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