The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. School should cut art and music out of the cirriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

There is no doubt that the percentage of
children
in the western world being overweight increased by 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
It was found that there were several factors that played a role. There is
also
the effect of being overweight. A major factor in
children
gaining weight is inappropriate eating habits. Most of them contain flour. high in fat and sugar,
such
as fast food or fast food packaged foods, frozen foods, soft drinks, sweetened beverages and desserts,
as well as
overeating. awarding sweets and giving
children
snacks between meals and the physical inactivity of
children
,
such
as
children
addicted to games, mobile phones and television, or not jogging and exercising
according to
age boredom and stress from family and school
This
may cause the child to eat more or eat unhealthy food. Today's lifestyles, including online learning, gaming, and social media use, may result in fewer movements of the body and less exercise. The body's metabolic process slows
as a result
. and raise the possibility of obesity and related health issues. Stress, worry, and insomnia are just a few examples of how
this
may impact mental health. At schools, these issues frequently lead to decreased productivity.
Therefore
, it is important to encourage kids to participate in physical activity and sports in order to combat the obesity epidemic.
Submitted by Patlada.chum on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: