IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

nowadays online shopping is rapidly replacing physical shopping in store. do benefits outweigh the drawbacks

#store
No doubt ,
it is clear that
 advancement in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 their own place
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everywhere .
In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
 days people are more attracted towards online
shoping
Correct your spelling
shopping
 as compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
in person
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
shoping
Correct your spelling
shopping
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stores
 . I believe that both have their individual importance but shopping with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online websites is
Correct article usage
a conveient
show examples
conveient
Correct your spelling
convenient
method
 . In the following
paragraphs
Add a comma
,paragraphs
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will try to put light on its positive side .
To begin
 with , no matter
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the age group most people want to
use
 the easy
method
 of shopping during the rush life of these days . As all
knows
Change the verb form
know
show examples
 that
shop
Wrong verb form
shopping
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online websites is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 easy and
conveint
Correct your spelling
convenient
convent
 way for everyone . Because we are living in the technological era , so most of them are in touch with the
use
 of
online
Add an article
the online
an online
show examples
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
. Not only
this
 ,with online shopping no need to go
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
stores
 ,
consequently
 it will be the saving of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
 as well . We cannot refuse
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 fact that
during
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days all are having
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 busy schedule so it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good
method
 of shopping . To add more
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 , with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online shopping it is
also
conveience
Correct your spelling
convenience
 that we can
sent
Change the verb form
send
be sent
show examples
 back our product too if we are not satisfied with the item that we
orderd
Correct your spelling
ordered
, so they have
return
Add an article
a return
show examples
 policy as well .
This
 is
also
 a good point in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online shopping .
Whereas
 when we are going inside the
stores
 to buy something it will take
our
Change the word
a
show examples
 huge
time
 so sometimes we are not able to buy the item that we want to buy so directly it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
wastage
Replace the word
waste
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
 .
Instead
 of
this
 , in person
Correct your spelling
shopping
shoping
Add a comma
,shoping
show examples
 we have to
use
 the
transporation
Correct your spelling
transportation
eithe
Correct your spelling
either
the
 bus or car to reach
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 so it adds extra cost in the shopping .
On the other hand
 , when we are going inside the
stores
 , we can get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to expose more
varities
Correct your spelling
variety
 of products . Even we can try the product at the same
time
 so can get rid
off from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
retrurn
Correct your spelling
return
returns
 policy . It will give more satisfaction .but we cannot ignore the
easeof
Correct your spelling
ease of
 the online shopping .
To conclude
 ,
although
in person
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
 shopping inside the
stores
 give us more options to choose the products and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
 provides us
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
satisfaction too ,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
also
 like to
use
 online purchases during the fast and paced life of today . It is actually a good idea to select the online
method
 of shopping .
Submitted by Harpreetdhillon.preetdhillon on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: