IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to moniter what people are saying and doing. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this devlopment outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #moniter #people #cases #devlopment
Technology
 has developed and constantly
devloping
Correct your spelling
developing
from
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the
last
 couple of decades. People are using internet devices for almost all the
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
such
 as booking a cab or
resevering
Correct your spelling
reserving
severing
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 flight seat. Some people argue that it can be harmful in many ways.
However
, in the following
paragraph
Add a comma
,paragraph
show examples
 I will elaborate
both
Change preposition
on both
show examples
 the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 merits of
technology
as well as
demerits
Correct pronoun usage
its demerits
show examples
 of it,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
last
 I will provide
Correct article usage
a concluison
show examples
concluison
Correct your spelling
conclusion
 of the passages with my opinion.
To begin
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
 the
adavntages
Correct your spelling
advantages
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
 are myriad
such
 as mobile phones,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
various
Correct word choice
and various
show examples
 apps.
First,
this
 can make human life
extremly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 convenient and do several things at
single
Add an article
the single
a single
show examples
 tick of
fingre
Correct your spelling
finger
 from home.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
person
 can get images from the whole world by just typing some words on the internet.
Although
, it needs some basic information about
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
 place or
person
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 anything from the address of that place to
phone
Correct article usage
the phone
show examples
 number whatever it is asked for.
Secondly
,
this
 progress
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
 can be
utilize
Wrong verb form
utilised
show examples
,
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
store data from different places
according to
 their importance for the future.
By
Change preposition
In
show examples
this
 way, it can save thousands of trees that will
been
Change the verb form
be
show examples
 used to write. The benefits of
this
trulytruely
Correct your spelling
truly truly
 uncountable.
However
, an individual must not forget that, to operate these all the advantages its needs
Correct article usage
a persons
show examples
persons
Change noun form
person's
show examples
 personal information . And
this
 can cause many problems
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
Add an article
the user
show examples
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
.
For example
, many times the guy
agree
Correct subject-verb agreement
agrees
show examples
 for every
conditions
Fix the agreement mistake
condition
show examples
 and
terms
Fix the agreement mistake
term
show examples
may
Correct word choice
and may
show examples
 give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
permission to monitor its activities on
device
Add an article
the device
show examples
.
This
 can include tracking location or operating
camera
Correct article usage
the camera
show examples
,
this
 can be a very disturbing experience for the user. But it can only happen if, the
person
 is careless and unaware of the capabilities of
technology
. In conclusion, I believe if the
person
 is careful and
read
Correct subject-verb agreement
reads
show examples
 the instructions before signing in for any new application the benefits of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
technology
 certainly outweigh the disadvantages and even if not they can be neglected. Because the advantages are surely helping humans.
Submitted by Chetan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: