The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The advancement of
healthcare
and technology, in my opinion, have a positive impact
in
Change preposition
on
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raising
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society's quality of life, and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
awareness about
health
in general.
That is
why, I disagree with the notion that
people
will have a lower standard for their
health
in the
future
,
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because the trends actually indicate the opposite is true. In recent years, the government has been working
together with
various stakeholders in improving the quality of the
healthcare
system, and a more comprehensive
health
insurance system has
also
been developed to provide easier access to
healthcare
for all levels of society. We actually see more and more
people
visiting clinics or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nearby hospital to get treatments for their
health
conditions.
Moreover
, millennial parents
also
have more positive attitudes towards vaccination for their children compared to parents in the past, many of whom were wary towards medical care or vaccines
due to
their limited understanding. As
this
trend is most probably going to continue
to
Change preposition
in
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the
future
, the
health
standard among
people
in the
future
will surely keep rising. We
also
now live in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
world
that is
interconnected, with the internet and other digital technology making it easier for
people
to gain
better
Add an article
a better
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understanding and raise awareness about
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle
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lifestyles
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.
People
can now access workout videos, ways to maintain a healthy diet, and support for those needing help with their mental well-being a lot easier compared to the past.
Although
fast-food restaurants are still popular among the younger generation, food and beverage companies offering healthier meal choices are
also
rapidly growing with a
similarly
rising number of consumers.
Hence
,
this
is an indication that many
people
are moving away from less healthy eating habits as well, which is a direct consequence of their rising
health
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
. To concede,
while
it is true that fast-food eating and unhealthy
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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still pervasive among some
people
, the
health
standard of
people
in general
Add the comma(s)
, in general,
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has been rising and will continue to rise in the
future
.
This
is shown by the progress made in the
healthcare
system and the growing number of
health
-related contents and products we can access using today's technology
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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
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