IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Smart phones and other similar electronic gadgets have reduced the contact between friends. Discuss how far you agree with this statement.

Due to
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 development in technology, smartphones have taken place to connect with
people
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 from all across the
world
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world,
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 have phone users now spending more
time
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 on smartphones or other digital electronics.
As a
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result
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, they have reduced their
time
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 to connect with friends in real
.
Check wording
life.
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 I think
smartphone
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 gadgets do have some benefits, but the
overall
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result
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 is negative.
To begin
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with
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with,
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 benefits, use showcases themselves or showcase their skills on different platforms from all across the globe
and
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apply
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and monetise the skills. For
,
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apply
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example
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example,
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smartphone
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 users show their digital skills on Instagram or on Facebook and make money from it.
another
Fix capitalization
Another
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 important observation is
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people
Correct word choice
that people
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 can easily make friends with the help of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Use synonyms
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
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 and communicate with them on social platforms.
In addition
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, with the help of the sky, they can see each other live on a video call.
However
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,
In
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in
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 the long run, it is not good. Many
people
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 to
stop
Wrong verb form
stopped
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 interacting with their friends. After being attracted to the
smartphone
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.
People
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 have lessened their
time
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 to talk with their loved ones. They just spend most of their
time
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 on gadgets . As a
result
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, it will harm them
another
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. Another
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 argument is
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people
Correct word choice
that people
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 who spend their
time
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 on phones are
a
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apply
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less social
people
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,
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apply
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they don't like to go to Crowdy places and just
wanted
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want
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 to spend
time
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 alone
,
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.
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 These kinds of
people
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ended
Wrong verb form
end
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 up in isolation.
As a
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result
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, stress and depression will trigger. In conclusion, as we talk about all those reasons, not only
it is
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is it
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 bad for your mind
but
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, but
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also
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 your physical body
is so
Verb problem
apply
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in
long
Correct article usage
the long
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 run. It has a lot of negative effects.

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planning
Plan the essay first with a short plan. Put your view in a clear sentence at the start and keep it to the end.
task
State your view clearly and stick to it with the ideas you give.
coherence
Use small linking words between ideas, like first, also, but, then, and finally.
structure
Make one idea per paragraph and explain it with a short example.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling. Read aloud to find mistakes and fix them.
content
You do give a view about how tech can affect friends.
structure
You try to show both sides and give reasons.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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