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Writing Samples /
Band 7

The charts show the main methods of transport of people travelling to one university in 2004 and 2009. Summarise the information be selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts show the main methods of transport of people travelling to one university in 2004 and 2009. Summarise the information be selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #methods #transport #people #university #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given pie charts compare the percentage of
students
 using five different means of transportation (
Car
,
Train
,
Bus
, Bicycle, and Walking) to travel to a particular university
during
Change preposition
between
show examples
 2004 and 2009. It is noticeable that travelling by
train
 was the least
favored
Change the spelling
favoured
show examples
 form of transportation,
while
 there was a change, from cars to buses, for the most commonly used form of transport over the
five year
Add a hyphen
five-year
show examples
 period. In 2004, just over half of
students
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
 to the university by
car
, with only a third taking a
bus
. The remaining
students
 rode a bike, went on foot or took a
train
, with the figures being 9%, 4%, and 3% respectively.
However
, with the construction of a new
bus
 stop in 2008 and the introduction of
car
 parking fees in 2006, in 2009 the number of
students
 commuting by
car
 dropped to 28%, and
consequently
 the number of
students
 travelling by all other methods increased. Those travelling by
bus
 increased to 46%, bicycle
user’s
Change the noun form
users
user
show examples
 rose to 16%, and both
train
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 and walkers increased by 1% and 2% respectively.
Submitted by bobong120906 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, car, train, bus with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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