IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always the good thing

#people #lives #change
Many
people
 argued about changes in
life
. The first claims that
people
 should do one thing all
life
. An alternative belief regards
this
 as changing is a good part of
life
 for everyone. In
this
 ,essay both points of view is going to be examined and a particular option will be provided. On the one hand,
people
 who do not like changing in their
life
 are old
people
. They lived in other times,
for instance
, my friend`s grandparents used to live in communism time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when
people
 could choose only once their future niche. My friend is an accountant and he has the same 1 salary. His job does not require some improvements in his mind. He does not strive to improve his mind, because he has old nurture. On the one ,hand we are living in a capitalist time in the technology era and the world is changing every year. We have to be fit. In my perspective, changes are improving our brains and we have to learn something as much as possible.
For instance
, I was a bookseller and I had the same salary as my friend.
Nonetheless
, I have changed my niche. I have been working in IT since 2020 and I earned more money than my friend. I can buy expensive things or give part of my money to charity organisations. I am supposed to be a wise person in my company
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 always try to change something.
Nevertheless
, it is necessary to take into account all the circumstances of each individual case.
To sum up
, I firmly believe, that making changes are marvellous and you can improve your mind.
Submitted by danyukvitaliy2015 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: