IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The growth of online shoping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
In today's era online shopping has been trending among
people
, because it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 tool that
people
 buy anything at any
time
 in a
a
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
very easy way,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 it may lead to
shut
Wrong verb form
shutting
show examples
 done all shopping
mall
Fix the agreement mistake
malls
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 and small
shops
 in cities and towns. I firmly agree with the given statement and my
reasons
 for
stand
Add an article
the stand
show examples
 will be discussed in
further
 paragraphs. out of all the
reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 online shopping would be close all
shops
 in cities and towns,
primary
Correct article usage
the primary
show examples
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 is that today more
people
 buy
Add an article
a product
the product
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 or
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
 from online
webside
Correct your spelling
website
websites
, because they get more
discount
Fix the agreement mistake
discounts
show examples
 and lots of
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
.
Therefore
,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
custmer
Correct your spelling
customer
customers
 will
be reduce
Change the verb form
be reduced
show examples
 in
townshop
Correct your spelling
township
townships
 and
cities
Change the noun form
city
show examples
shops
.
Furthermore
,
people
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 get
Correct article usage
the lateast
show examples
lateast
Correct your spelling
latest
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 in their near
shops
 but they can
recevied
Correct your spelling
received
online
Correct pronoun usage
them online
show examples
 very easily.
For instance
,
any
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
lateast
Correct your spelling
latest
 model of phone can not available for 1 week on
Correct article usage
a moblie
show examples
moblie
Correct your spelling
mobile
 shop but
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 available on online
webside
Correct your spelling
website
websites
 like
flipcard
Correct your spelling
flip card
, amazon
ect
Correct your spelling
etc
... another
reasons
Replace the adjective
reason
show examples
 to support my stand is that if
people
 buy every
product
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online
then
 no one can go for that
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
shops
. It is true that
people
alway
Correct your spelling
always
 find
easy
Add an article
an easy
the easy
show examples
 way
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
cheap
Correct article usage
a cheap
show examples
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 so
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 available online.
For Example
, working
people
 does not have
time
 to go shopping in
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they buy basic daily use
product
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online.
Such
 as milk, vegetables etc...
Morover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, online shopping give more facilities and option to their customer compared to local
shops
 and
mall
,
as a
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
 more and more
people
 attract
toward
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online shopping. To
illustrat
Correct your spelling
illustrate
, any person can buy foreign
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 or goods with just one click. Some
people
 argue that
although
 online shopping, local
shops
 and
mall
Add a verb
aremall
weremall
show examples
 still alive in future there will be no change. That means today
people
 have
option
Change the article
the option
show examples
 to buy
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online but still they go their near local
shops
 for their basic
necessary
Replace the word
necessities
show examples
.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, online shopping take
time
 not provide things on
time
while
 emergency Like
Correct article usage
the requrment
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requrment
Correct your spelling
requirement
 of
medicin
Correct your spelling
medicine
. To wrap up the discussion, it can
said
Change the verb form
be said
say
show examples
 that
although
 basic necessary
buy
Fix the infinitive
to buy
show examples
 from local
shops
, my reason
such
 as easy
as well as
 cheap price shopping from online
webside
Correct your spelling
website
websites
 will be close
local
Change preposition
to local
show examples
shops
 and
mall
Fix the agreement mistake
malls
show examples
 in future.
Submitted by shitalbuha24 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
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