Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
I think every
subjects
Change to a singular noun
subject
show examples
is important for us. We have to learn everything through our past, present and future. Some
people
say that History is one of the most important school subjects it's true but it has to go
along with
today's world which is
science
and
Technology
. How can we move without our history, the
people
behind us "The ancient
people
" is the most powerful
people
who
pushes
Change the verb form
push
show examples
us to move forward.
The
Correct your spelling
They
show examples
taught us how to fire
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
light, How to find
a food
Remove the article
food
a portion of food
show examples
, How to
lives
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
with
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
and animals, How to survive and others. Of
course
Add a comma
,course
show examples
we wouldn't know that without them.
Science
and
Technology
are important too. They give us a chance to move forward with them. Without
Science
and
Technology
Add a comma
,Technology
show examples
we're just
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
normally
Replace the word
normal
show examples
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
show examples
being. We spend our daily life with no useful. Without them we have no light we have no food, we have no comfortable stuff
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
things. Old
people
can
survived
Change the verb form
survive
show examples
without these things. Humans
creates
Change the verb form
create
show examples
lots of invention to give
an unlimited wants
Correct the article-noun agreement
unlimited wants
an unlimited want
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
based on a limited government. May I gives one example of the development of
science
and
Technology
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
With
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
two things it
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
us a chance to be a member of
ASEAN
Correct article usage
the ASEAN
show examples
"Association of South East Asia
Nation
Fix the agreement mistake
Nations
show examples
" we can be able to communicate with the other 9 countries with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high
technology
. it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
us to be a TEAMWORK with the 9 other countries to develop our country. help us in terms of transportation, communication, collaboration etc. it can definitely hold on to that hope
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in the near future. 131
Submitted by 19-0415 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • comprehend
  • retrospect
  • gain insights
  • reflect on
  • sharpen
  • evaluate
  • significance
  • heritage
  • legacy
  • advent
  • breakthroughs
  • sustain
  • sustainability
  • revolutions
  • empowered
  • overcome
  • transform
  • advancements
  • collaboration
  • cooperation
  • diversity
  • fulfilling
  • promote
  • facilitate
  • prosperity
  • enhance
  • foster
  • foundation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: