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Band 4.5

In many countries, good schools and medical facilities are available only in cities. Some people think new teachers and doctors should work in rural areas for fewyears, but others think everyone should be free to choose where they work. Discuss and give your opinion.

#countries #schools #facilities #cities #people #teachers #doctors #work #areas #fewyears
These days, public debate has going on over whether teachers and doctors should
work
 first in rural
areas
. There
both
Add a missing verb
are both
show examples
 those who agree and
desagree
Correct your spelling
disagree
 with it. In
this
 essay, I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the two sides and give my
opnion
Correct your spelling
opinion
. Let's begin by looking
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 ideas about the obligation to
work
 in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 for
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 years. The primary factor is that, because they are new
professionals
, recently graduated teachers and doctors do not have
enougth
Correct your spelling
enough
 experience to deal with a large demand, which happens in big cities.
In other words
, during their turn, they will
asked
Change the verb form
ask
be asked
show examples
 to treat people with more intensity
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 in rural
areas
. Take the surgery of
emergence
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emergency
show examples
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
example
Add an article
an example
the example
show examples
, where the medic must
to
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apply
show examples
take fast decisions in order to save a life.
Seccondly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, when masters and medics are sent to
theses
Correct your spelling
these
show examples
areas
, they
coverd
Correct your spelling
covered
cover
 a gap of
professionals
 related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
areas
. What I mean
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 it is that, because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 lack of
interesting
Replace the word
interest
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Change the determiner
this professional
these professionals
show examples
professionals
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
living in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 cities, the demand always is bigger
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 the offer of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 services. Turning to the other side of the argument, people say that in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 there are not
enought
Correct your spelling
enough
 resources in the
horpitals
Correct your spelling
hospitals
hospital
 to do a good job.
Similarly
, the schools,
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
instance
Add an article
an instance
the instance
show examples
, do not offer
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their children,
apropriated
Correct your spelling
appropriated
appropriate
 material to learn. Eventually,
theses
Correct your spelling
these
show examples
 matters repel good
professionals
 to
work
 in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
areas
 because the situation in
centre
Add an article
the centre
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 totally
diferent
Correct your spelling
different
. Another issue in the obligation
to begin
 the
carrieer
Correct your spelling
carrier
career
 far from metropoles is that the money invested during their studies
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 high to be
coverd
Correct your spelling
covered
 by the low salaries in small places. There are those who say that the
paiyment
Correct your spelling
payment
 for these
professionals
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 30% less
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 in
centre
Replace the word
central
show examples
areas
. All things in consideration, the conditions of
work
 in
contrysides
Correct your spelling
countrysides
countryside
 are not easy and because of it, the population of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 cities are suffering because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 lack of
interesting
Replace the word
interest
show examples
 to
work
 there. Personally, I believe that the best way to cover their necessities is, in fact, to obligate them to
work
 for
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 years.
Accordingly
, it would be advisable for the
govenment
Correct your spelling
government
 to invest more in hospital and school facilities to call more attention to recently graduated
professionals
.
Submitted by pollyannamsouza on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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