some people think that government should spend more money on sports facilities for top athlete. Others ague that this money sould be spent on sports facilities for ordnary people. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Throughout history, athletic competitions

play

Wrong verb form

have played

show examples

an important role in bringing fame to many countries.

Hence

Linking Words

, it is debatable whether governments should invest in

sports

Use synonyms

facilities for top athletes,

while

Linking Words

others argue that parts of the financial investment should be used to build fitness centres for the public. Personally, I agree with the latter opinion

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

this

Linking Words

essay will discuss both views.

Firstly

Linking Words

, many top athletes are trained properly to compete in international competitions

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

Linking Words

therefore

Punctuation problem

therefore,

show examples

they bring to their countries not only medals but more importantly, fame and reputation. Only a few countries around the world

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

well-known for

sports

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because the governments sponsor potential players

Change preposition

show examples

training in terms of hiring mentors and providing equipment.

For example

Linking Words

, Brazil is famous for international

sports

Use synonyms

events as they have achieved gold medals and cups, especially in football.

However

Linking Words

, nowadays most sponsorships are given to contestants by

sports

Use synonyms

fashion companies and private associates.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the government budget should not only spend on top athletes;

however

Linking Words

public's

Correct article usage

the public's

show examples

health should be taken into account as well. Many regions started

this

Linking Words

scheme not long ago by placing equipment in parks and playgrounds,

therefore

Linking Words

the result in a decline in obesity, heart disease, and other health-related issues in the community.

For example

Linking Words

, statistically, the chance of getting

stroke

Correct article usage

a stroke

show examples

drops by 30 per cent if a person spends 10 minutes exercising every day. For

such

Linking Words

benefits,

therefore

Linking Words

, the governmental authorities should provide

sports

Use synonyms

facilities to encourage the public to improve their health status. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

training top

sports

Use synonyms

players to compete in international events is important to a country, I suppose that the government should

also

Linking Words

pay more attention to the community's

health

Punctuation problem

health,

show examples

as people are facing high risks of getting obesity and other diseases.

phanthuyduong2111

Feb 4, 2023

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grammar

Fix grammar and use noun-verb match. For example, say 'are well known' not 'is well-known' and check subject-verb form.

coherence

Make ideas clearer. Aim for one main idea per paragraph and use clear link to the next part.

lexical resource

Use simple, real examples. Do not rely too much on numbers; keep facts easy to see.

task response

The essay shows a clear view that you support spending on public facilities.

coherence

The text is broken into paragraphs, which helps the reader.

coherence

There are link words that show the flow from one idea to the next.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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some people think that government should spend more money on sports facilities for top athlete. Others ague that this money sould be spent on sports facilities for ordnary people. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed contries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

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