Maby working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

Nowadays, many working
people
have little
time
for
exercise
or have no
time
at all
due to
not having
time
and
this
causes them to have some serious
health
problems. I believe there are 2
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
for that; not making it a habit and not having
time
for
exercise
. Exercising is not just about spending long hours in the gym, it is something should teach
people
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
eraly
Correct your spelling
early
age and
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
importance on our
health
in general. Some
people
basically don't have the habit of exercising, even if they start going to
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
, it doesn't take long for
may
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
to quit after
couple
Change the article
a couple
show examples
of times. Why
this happens
Add an auxiliary verb
does this happen
did this happen
show examples
? Because
people
in
genral
Correct your spelling
general
believe that they should
exercise
if they are overweight rather
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
stregten
Correct your spelling
strengthen
straighten
their
overal
Correct your spelling
overall
health
or keep their body
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
for
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
time
as
humen
Correct your spelling
human
humans
lose their muscles over
time
and
tthis
Correct your spelling
this
is the reason why they don't even
exercise
in their free
time
. another reason is not having
time
, most
people
work
from 9AM to 6 PM and after
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
most of them have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
little energy.
More over
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
, some of them have a family the take care of after
work
such
as playing with kids and making food for the family and
then
have rest to get ready for tomorrow.
Also
people
Add the comma(s)
,people
show examples
who
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
physical jobs
such
as builders,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would prefer to rest
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
time
rather than
exercising
Wrong verb form
exercise
show examples
since they already do a hard job. With
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all said above, I believe
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
thing the solve
this
issue is teaching
people
how
exercise
can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
our body and
mind
Change noun form
mind's
show examples
health
over
time
and
in addition
to that
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
can provide a gym or workers can
given
Change the verb form
give
be given
show examples
time
to
exercise
before
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
all together just before to start
work
.
Submitted by elff.bgc on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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