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Writing Samples
Band 8

The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown leisure activities of Australian children

The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown leisure activities of Australian children
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The given bar chart provides information about the percentage of leisure activities between females and males (5-14 years old) in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, Watching TV or videos done by both
boys
Use synonyms
 and girls dominated the activities as the most popular
while
Linking Words
 there were different numbers compared with both genders.
According to
Linking Words
 data, the highest proportion was taken by watching TV or videos which
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 100%. Followed by bike riding and electronic or computer games which showed a slightly similar pattern where electronic and computer games and bike riding in girls were more than
boys
Use synonyms
, 80% and 77% respectively
as well as
Linking Words
 60% and 58% for done by
boys
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, skateboarding and rollerblading were considered less popular than others. The percentage of
boys
Use synonyms
 who love to do the activity was just under 40% which was more than that of girls, contributing 24%. With the different trends, women preferred doing art and craft
instead
Linking Words
, with nearly 60% attracting them to do it,
however
Linking Words
, men are just about 35%.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words boys with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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