You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Our society follows a hierarchy and the financial status of an individual greatly affects their status quo. There are various reasons that encourage individuals to remain in the

workforce

Use synonyms

Linking Words

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

money is the most important one. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss why I strongly agree that money is the most important factor for working

adults

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

survival instinct and family. Most

adults

Use synonyms

work

Use synonyms

simply because they wanted to survive.

In other words

Linking Words

,

adults

Use synonyms

receive a stable income by doing labour

work

Use synonyms

in order to afford food which is the most important thing to survive.

For example

Linking Words

, McDonald's workers might not afford a luxurious life but they are guaranteed that they will not starve.

In addition

Linking Words

to that , the increasing price

in

Change preposition

of

show examples

foods

Fix the agreement mistake

food

show examples

while

Linking Words

salary remains unchanged created a loop for people to stay in the

workforce

Use synonyms

longer since they would not be able to afford food if they quit.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the lesser we

work

Use synonyms

, the less likely that we are going to survive. Another reason for working

adults

Use synonyms

to be motivated to stay in the

workforce

Use synonyms

is their family.

This

Linking Words

is simply because

,

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

parents usually

work

Use synonyms

around the clock to provide their children with the best they can afford.

For instance

Linking Words

, both of my parents

work

Use synonyms

around 12 hours a day in order to pay for my university fees. After completing my degree, I decided to go on to graduate school which creates financial stress

to

Change preposition

for

show examples

them and they have to

work

Use synonyms

for another hour a day.

Thus

Linking Words

, it is obvious that parents are willing to do anything for their children. In conclusion, money is the most important factor that encourages people to stay in the

workforce

Use synonyms

, simply because they do not want to die yet and they want to support their family financially. Working

adults

Use synonyms

work

Use synonyms

for as long as they can to afford food

while

Linking Words

those with

Add an article

the family

show examples

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

try their best to pay for their kids.