IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many manufactory food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, Which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#manufactory #food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
As a language model AI, I don't have personal opinions but I can analyze the argument. I would agree with the statement that many manufactured food and drink
products
 contain high levels of sugar and that
this
 can lead to health problems. High sugar intake has been linked to various health issues
such
 as obesity, diabetes, and heart disease. Regarding making sugary
products
 more expensive, it is a common argument that increasing prices can discourage people from buying unhealthy
products
 and encourage them to choose healthier options.
This
 is known as "price leverage" or "taxation strategy". The idea is that by increasing the cost of unhealthy
products
, consumers will be more likely to reduce their consumption and shift to healthier options.
However
, it is important to note that there are
also
 arguments against
this
 approach. Some people argue that making sugary
products
 more expensive will disproportionately impact low-income households, as unhealthy
products
 may be more affordable for them.
Additionally
, the impact of price increases on consumption may vary based on individual behaviour and circumstances. In conclusion,
while
 increasing the price of sugary
products
 may have some impact on reducing consumption, it is important to consider the potential drawbacks and to approach the issue holistically,
for example
 by
also
 providing education and alternative healthy options.
Submitted by minhlieu.hnd on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: