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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparision where required

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparision where required
#shops #country #summarise #information #features #comparision
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The graph is a statistical representation of the variability in the number of
shops
Use synonyms
 opening and getting closed from the
year
Use synonyms
 2011 to 2018 in one country
Overall
Linking Words
, both the types have a fluctuation in the graph throughout the period, yet it is visible that the opening of the shop has some stability in between, but the closure part is changing constantly
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
 the Number of
shops
Use synonyms
 which leads to closure in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 2011, was around 6,200 and declined to approximately 5,900 in the
year
Use synonyms
 2012. It outraced between the
year
Use synonyms
 2012-2013 and again downrated in 2014. Between the years 2014-
2015
Add a comma
,2015
show examples
 it gradually declined and went to almost 800, and rapidly increased between 2015-2016 which was around 5100, again decreased slightly and came to 5000 and increased by approximately 5200 between 2017-2018 Eventually, when we focus on the number of
shops
Use synonyms
 opened, from 2011 to 2012 it declined by almost 8500 to somewhere around 3900,
then
Linking Words
 it constantly increased between 2012-2014 by 5000 to approximately 6100. It decreased by 200 between 2014-2015 and hereafter it remained constant between 2015-2016 and slightly outraced by 100
shops
Use synonyms
 and
finally
Linking Words
 decreased between 2017 to 2018.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words shops, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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