IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
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Nowadays, the number of individuals who suffer from
starving
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starvation
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 still high
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wordwide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
.
Although
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
agriculture has grown considerably.
Thus
Linking Words
, there is a crucial debate associated with what reasons cause
this
Linking Words
 type of
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
 and what
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 can do to reduce the percentage of hungry
people
Use synonyms
 in the entire world. A vast range of
people
Use synonyms
 who live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
deprived areas
suffer
Change the verb form
suffers
show examples
 from
starving
Replace the word
starvation
show examples
 even dying
due to
Linking Words
 hungry. Despite, advances in technology and agriculture. The
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of hungry
people
Use synonyms
do
Change the verb form
does
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 not
decresed
Correct your spelling
decreased
decrease
 significantly.
Moreover
Linking Words
, numerous poor countries face serious issues with
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, many African populations suffer from
malnutritions
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malnutrition
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 and their children have many physical and mental problems
due to
Linking Words
 lack of
essentiale
Correct your spelling
essential
nutritians
Correct your spelling
nutrition
nutritious
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
food
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, several families who live in poverty condition are deprived of basic
aminities
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amenities
such
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 as
food
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 and education.
Frpm
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From
 a psychological
view point
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viewpoint
show examples
, starving can damage
to
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apply
show examples
the
barin
Correct your spelling
brain
 and causes many mental
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 and
also
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 can increase
rate
Add an article
the rate
show examples
 of crime in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sociaty
Correct your spelling
society
. In my opinion, governments should raise public awareness about helping
people
Use synonyms
 who live in
low
Add an article
a low
show examples
 standard of living or in deprived areas through
hold
Wrong verb form
holding
show examples
programes
Correct your spelling
programmes
programs
,
such
Linking Words
 as free workshops or seminars.
In addition
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,
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 should
provaid
Correct your spelling
provide
 basic
aminitices
Correct your spelling
amenities
 for
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 live in poor
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 and
also
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 provide
financiale
Correct your spelling
financial
 support for charities to reduce the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who suffer from poverty.
Also
Linking Words
,
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 can hold a
programe
Correct your spelling
programme
 to help poor
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
 to provide
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 and clean water.
For example
Linking Words
, GM
food
Use synonyms
 can bring better
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 for poor countries
such
Linking Words
 as Africa.
In other words
Linking Words
, in Africa
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of water and excessive
heat
Add a comma
,heat
show examples
 a range of plants can not cultivate. So, GM
food
Use synonyms
 can alter plants to adapt
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
drought situation. In conclusion,
starving
Replace the word
starvation
show examples
 is
important
Add an article
an important
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 issue that many country
challenge
Change to a plural noun
challenges
show examples
 with it. In my
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 governments can really help to reduce
this
Linking Words
 type of problem through financial
assist
Replace the word
assistance
show examples
.
Submitted by melika.verdi on

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
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