In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

In recent years, there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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a new trend of children taking a year off after finishing high school to travel or work before starting university or college.
This
essay will discuss both pros and cons for young people who decide to follow
this
route. On the one hand, it is obvious that there are many significant benefits when youngsters take a break period after finishing the academy. One of the major merits is that when the children travel to several places, they gain more knowledge about their culture, tradition, and languages which will be quite helpful for them to broaden their horizons.
This
is beneficial to a great extent
while
exploring career options and they will know about their passion and their interests. Take Steve Jobs as an example, he found his passion after taking a break from his studies and
then
he established Apple Inc. Another positive that needs to be mentioned is that when youngsters work prior to
enrol
Replace the word
enrolling
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at the university, they will obtain practical and professional working experiences.
Consequently
, travelling and working for a year before the start of university is usually an extremely great experience for students.
On the other hand
, there are some shortcomings of
this
notion. The first and obvious demerit is that students might get low scores in their academics because they can be distracted from their studies.
In other words
, when recruitments rejoin college after a long break, it can be difficult for them to concentrate on their studies.
For instance
,
according to
a recent survey 30% of enlistments who join college after a gap period got lower scores than other enlistments who did not take a year – off.
As a result
, it can affect their academic performance, and they may get lower grades. Another negative aspect is that after earning money at a
small
Correct word choice
young
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age people become independent. It means that they think
having
Wrong verb form
they have
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no need for support from their family members.
This
will spoil understanding between the family members.
To conclude
, regardless of the points to the contrary, it can be concluded that the above-mentioned factors have outlined benefits
as well as
drawbacks of
this
issue. On balance, it is my firm belief that these demerits are eclipsed by their merits.
Submitted by huynhtaican on

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task response
Work on presenting a clearer and more specific response to the essay prompt.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is inconsistent. Work on maintaining a clear flow of ideas and linking them coherently.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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