IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society inter adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #countries #society #immigrants #customs #codes #behaviour
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, there is a growing trend of people moving to foreign nations. I disagree with the given statement, which says that immigrants should abandon their old
ways
Use synonyms
, and adjust to the localized cultures and codes of behaviour. I believe, it is necessary for migrants to adapt to local cultures and
ways
Use synonyms
 of life,
however
Linking Words
, it is equally important for them to preserve their old cultural heritage. Immigrants need to adapt to the local
culture
Use synonyms
 and
ways
Use synonyms
 of life.
Although
Linking Words
, it is understandable that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreigners might feel pressure to adjust
ot
Correct your spelling
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign customs and
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their lives.
However
Linking Words
, to fit in and become accepted by the local community, it is necessary to learn certain aspects of the indigenous
culture
Use synonyms
. When people move abroad, they have opportunities to experience many different things, which include learning
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 new language,
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 new friends, and the native
culture
Use synonyms
, which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 deemed appropriate in the new community.
However
Linking Words
, focusing only on the new customs and ignoring their own cultural identity and traditions is not good. Abandoning one’s old
ways
Use synonyms
 could completely lead to a loss of regional
culture
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it could cause a sense of disconnection from one’s roots and personal identity.
In addition
Linking Words
, preserving someone’s own
custom
Fix the agreement mistake
customs
show examples
 will enrich the cultural diversity of their adopted country. In summary, I reiterate my opinion by saying that adaptation to native customs and codes of behaviour is justified.
In addition
Linking Words
,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 must hold on to their own regional traditions.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 not only provides a sense of comfort and familiarity
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 enhances the cultural richness of the foreign country.
Submitted by mdmortaza-2014716874 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: