IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to comsume less sugar.

Excessive consumption of manufactured
food
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 and drink
products
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 can lead to serious
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
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. The government should increase the
sugary
Replace the word
sugar
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 tax
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
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 to lessen
the
Correct article usage
apply
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consumption. In my view, I agree that there are advantages
due to
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 increasing the amount of sugary
food
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 and beverages.
First,
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there will be a decrease in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 number of patients with obesity, diabetes and high blood pressure.
For instance
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, the customers want to avail
sugary
Change preposition
of sugary
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products
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, they need to spend a lot of money.
For
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this
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 reason, they might think thousand times before buying these kinds of
products
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.
Moreover
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, when the price is high, consumers may tend to find other
products
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 to have
instead
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. They can try
a
Correct article usage
apply
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healthier
food
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 or drinks that have the same
flavor
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flavour
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 as the one that consists of artificial sweeteners.
For example
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, when a bottle of soda is more pricey than before, consumers would rather choose to avail of fruits like orange, lemon, or pineapple. These are not only tasty but will help them boost their immune system.
To conclude
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, I concur that
food
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 and drink
products
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 with high sugar content must raise the cost because it will lower the chances of getting sick
while
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on the other hand
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 promoting a healthy lifestyle.
As a result
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, the officials should be aware of the issues and encouraged to increase the prices.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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