Many teenagers now have their smartphones. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, there are many youngsters who have mobile
phones
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I believe that having smartphones
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
beneficial for adolescents because they can search for a lot of interesting information and stay connected with their friends most of the time, but there are
also
Linking Words
some potential drawbacks. In the following paragraphs, the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
to support my opinion will be discussed in detail. One evident benefit to having their cell
phones
Use synonyms
among teenagers is that they can search for something useful on the internet whenever they want because searching for information via their mobile devices could help young
people
Use synonyms
have a wide range of knowledge or understand new things that they might know before. Another positive aspect is that many students
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
use
Use synonyms
their smartphones to connect with their friends easily to study online together or discuss interesting topics to exchange their perspectives.
For instance
Linking Words
, young students could
use
Use synonyms
their mobile
phones
Use synonyms
to search for online courses that allow them to learn new skills or something they might
know
Wrong verb form
known
show examples
about
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
before.
As a result
Linking Words
, they would enhance their knowledge and be full of their point of view.
However
Linking Words
, having mobile devices might harm young
people
Use synonyms
if they
didn’t
Wrong verb form
don’t
show examples
use
Use synonyms
them carefully. Take,
for example
Linking Words
, some adolescents who
don’t
Verb problem
aren’t
show examples
afraid to talk with strangers would get damaged by cybercrime because some
people
Use synonyms
on the internet hide their real characteristics and
use
Use synonyms
fake identities to make friends with others. If youngsters trusted everything, they would get damaged by cybercrime. Another drawback is that many students may lose their time because of their social addiction,
such
Linking Words
as too much using Facebook or playing online games a lot.
Thus
Linking Words
, they would have some negative sides from these habits if they didn’t manage their time effectively. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
having smartphones in young groups may
bring
Verb problem
have
show examples
some negative effects on them, they can
use
Use synonyms
them carefully to avoid any potential damage from the internet and keep themselves safe. From my point of view, using mobile
phones
Use synonyms
effectively will help young
people
Use synonyms
develop themselves and benefit them in various aspects, but it is necessary to
use
Use synonyms
them wisely.
Submitted by Taninnuch.tha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the writer's opinion and the supporting points. Also, the conclusion should summarize the writer's viewpoint and the key supporting reasons.
coherence cohesion
The logical progression of ideas is mostly clear, but there are some issues with the connection between sentences and paragraphs. Try to use more linking words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion in the essay.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there is room for improvement in using more precise and varied vocabulary to express ideas more effectively.
grammatical range
There is a good range of sentence structures, but some errors in sentence structure and punctuation affect the overall clarity of the writing. Work on using a variety of complex sentences and pay attention to punctuation to improve grammatical range.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: