IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many teenagers now have their smartphones. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion?

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These days, there are many youngsters who have mobile
phones
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. In my opinion, I believe that having smartphones
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 beneficial for adolescents because they can search for a lot of interesting information and stay connected with their friends most of the time, but there are
also
Linking Words
 some potential drawbacks. In the following paragraphs, the
reason
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reasons
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 to support my opinion will be discussed in detail. One evident benefit to having their cell
phones
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 among teenagers is that they can search for something useful on the internet whenever they want because searching for information via their mobile devices could help young
people
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 have a wide range of knowledge or understand new things that they might know before. Another positive aspect is that many students
could
Wrong verb form
can
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use
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 their smartphones to connect with their friends easily to study online together or discuss interesting topics to exchange their perspectives.
For instance
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, young students could
use
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 their mobile
phones
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 to search for online courses that allow them to learn new skills or something they might
know
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known
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 about
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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before.
As a result
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, they would enhance their knowledge and be full of their point of view.
However
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, having mobile devices might harm young
people
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 if they
didn’t
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don’t
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use
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 them carefully. Take,
for example
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, some adolescents who
don’t
Verb problem
aren’t
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 afraid to talk with strangers would get damaged by cybercrime because some
people
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 on the internet hide their real characteristics and
use
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 fake identities to make friends with others. If youngsters trusted everything, they would get damaged by cybercrime. Another drawback is that many students may lose their time because of their social addiction,
such
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 as too much using Facebook or playing online games a lot.
Thus
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, they would have some negative sides from these habits if they didn’t manage their time effectively. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 having smartphones in young groups may
bring
Verb problem
have
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 some negative effects on them, they can
use
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 them carefully to avoid any potential damage from the internet and keep themselves safe. From my point of view, using mobile
phones
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 effectively will help young
people
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 develop themselves and benefit them in various aspects, but it is necessary to
use
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 them wisely.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the writer's opinion and the supporting points. Also, the conclusion should summarize the writer's viewpoint and the key supporting reasons.
coherence cohesion
The logical progression of ideas is mostly clear, but there are some issues with the connection between sentences and paragraphs. Try to use more linking words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion in the essay.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there is room for improvement in using more precise and varied vocabulary to express ideas more effectively.
grammatical range
There is a good range of sentence structures, but some errors in sentence structure and punctuation affect the overall clarity of the writing. Work on using a variety of complex sentences and pay attention to punctuation to improve grammatical range.
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