Many teenagers now have their smartphones. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion?

These days, there are many youngsters who have mobile
phones
. In my opinion, I believe that having smartphones
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
beneficial for adolescents because they can search for a lot of interesting information and stay connected with their friends most of the time, but there are
also
some potential drawbacks. In the following paragraphs, the
reason
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reasons
show examples
to support my opinion will be discussed in detail. One evident benefit to having their cell
phones
among teenagers is that they can search for something useful on the internet whenever they want because searching for information via their mobile devices could help young
people
have a wide range of knowledge or understand new things that they might know before. Another positive aspect is that many students
could
Wrong verb form
can
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use
their smartphones to connect with their friends easily to study online together or discuss interesting topics to exchange their perspectives.
For instance
, young students could
use
their mobile
phones
to search for online courses that allow them to learn new skills or something they might
know
Wrong verb form
known
show examples
about
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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before.
As a result
, they would enhance their knowledge and be full of their point of view.
However
, having mobile devices might harm young
people
if they
didn’t
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don’t
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use
them carefully. Take,
for example
, some adolescents who
don’t
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aren’t
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afraid to talk with strangers would get damaged by cybercrime because some
people
on the internet hide their real characteristics and
use
fake identities to make friends with others. If youngsters trusted everything, they would get damaged by cybercrime. Another drawback is that many students may lose their time because of their social addiction,
such
as too much using Facebook or playing online games a lot.
Thus
, they would have some negative sides from these habits if they didn’t manage their time effectively. In conclusion,
although
having smartphones in young groups may
bring
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have
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some negative effects on them, they can
use
them carefully to avoid any potential damage from the internet and keep themselves safe. From my point of view, using mobile
phones
effectively will help young
people
develop themselves and benefit them in various aspects, but it is necessary to
use
them wisely.
Submitted by Taninnuch.tha on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the writer's opinion and the supporting points. Also, the conclusion should summarize the writer's viewpoint and the key supporting reasons.
coherence cohesion
The logical progression of ideas is mostly clear, but there are some issues with the connection between sentences and paragraphs. Try to use more linking words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion in the essay.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there is room for improvement in using more precise and varied vocabulary to express ideas more effectively.
grammatical range
There is a good range of sentence structures, but some errors in sentence structure and punctuation affect the overall clarity of the writing. Work on using a variety of complex sentences and pay attention to punctuation to improve grammatical range.
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