IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

At present, the media affects people's lives significantly. What impact does this have on society? Is it a negative or positive development?

#media #people #lives #impact #society #development
The
media
 has a great impact on
people
's lives in the present time.
This
 essay will discuss how it affects the public point of view. I believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 it is a positive development
where
Correct word choice
because
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 it gives
people
 an
insights
Correct the article-noun agreement
insight
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of
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into
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 what is happening in the
world
. Nowadays,
media
 has a major role in delivering
news
 to the public in different
context
Fix the agreement mistake
contexts
show examples
.
In addition
,
this
 information enables awareness and
educate
Correct subject-verb agreement
educates
show examples
people
 which is beneficial in dealing with
everday's
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everday
show examples
lives
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life
show examples
.
Moreover
, those individuals viewing or listening to
news
 are responsible
on
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for
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 how they will interpret the information and they should only depend on reliable
media
 that has a good reputation.
For example
, BBC
news
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News
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 is one of the broadcasting companies in the
world
that is
 being viewed by the vast majority of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 because it has a good standing when it comes to giving factual information. Another reason,
media
 has a beneficial effect in
dessiminating
Correct your spelling
disseminating
 the
news
 where it develops
the
Correct article usage
a
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 sense of
camaderie
Correct your spelling
camaraderie
 among nations
specially
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especially
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thoses
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those
 afflicted with famine, catastrophe and
war- torn
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war-torn
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 countries. Apart from that, it
also
 touches
individuals
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individuals'
individual's
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heart
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hearts
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 where simple acts
such
 as prayers and charities would be valued the most in times of crisis.
People
 could not imagine the
world
 without
media
 as it is one of the
souces
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sources
show examples
 of connecting to other parts of the nation.
For instance
, the recent massive earthquake that
striked
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struck
show examples
 in Turkey and Syria where
thousand
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thousands
show examples
 of lives were lost and with the help of
news
, different countries have shown their sympathy and extended their humanitarian help. In conclusion,
media
 has a valuable effect
in
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on
show examples
 the
world
where
Correct word choice
because
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 it shapes
people
's
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
 positively.
This
 is why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that it is beneficial to all
people
 in the
world
.
Submitted by namlaemy on

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task response
Address the prompt more directly and provide a balanced discussion of the positive and negative impacts of media on society.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas to ensure a clear and coherent structure. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas throughout the essay.
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