IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The best way for governments to solve the problem of traffic congestion is providing free public transport in 24 hours per day, and seven days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #traffic #congestion #transport #hours #seven #week
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With the increasing population of the city, many companies set almost the same commute
time
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.
Therefore
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, it could cause the problem of
traffic
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 jams. I do not agree that the best way for governments to solve
traffic
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 congestion is to provide free public
transport
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 every
time
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. I think providing free public
transport
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 all day has some disadvantages.
First,
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it could cause a waste of resources. Since congestion is unlikely to occur often throughout the day, it almost happens at particular times when
people
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 usually go to work in the morning and go off work in the afternoon.
Hence
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, there are not many
people
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 who take public
transport
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 at other times.
Second,
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offering a free ticket cannot attract more
people
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 to take public
transport
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. If taking a bus or a subway to somewhere costs more
time
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 than taking a car, many
people
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 may choose to take a car because current
people
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 first want to choose convenience and they do not want to spend much
time
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 on the way.
On the other hand
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, if the government provides free tickets for public
transport
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, it could reduce the volume of
traffic
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 on the roads sometimes and
people
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 may spend less
time
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 going to work. And it could reduce carbon emissions when more
people
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 choose public
transport
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 to go to the company. In conclusion, providing free public
transport
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 is not necessarily the best way to solve the
traffic
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 congestion problem. But it
also
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 has some advantages.
Submitted by dh97 on

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task response
The essay provides a reasonable level of task response, presenting both the advantages and disadvantages of providing free public transport. However, it could benefit from a more in-depth analysis of the issue, including alternative solutions.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of coherence and cohesion, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, to improve, the essay could make better use of linking words and phrases to enhance the logical flow of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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