IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people are travelling to other countries. Why? Is it a positive or negative development?

These days
there
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, there
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 are more and more
people
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 travelling and visiting other nations.
This
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 can be
due to
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 several factors, and I personally believe that it is a positive development.
To begin
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 with, there are two contributing factors behind
people
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’s motivation to
travel
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.
First,
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many
people
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 want to learn more about unfamiliar cultures
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,
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and travelling allows them to be exposed to(1) local
people
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 and observe cultural differences in other countries.
This
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 gives them a chance to make a comparison of cultural traits in different nations, which helps them enrich their knowledge and have a more profound understanding of the world.
Second,
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some
people
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 decide to
travel
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 abroad so that they can visit their relatives or family members who live overseas. Video calls and photos only help to see each other’s faces, and they
,
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apply
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therefore
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 desire to
travel
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 abroad so as to meet their loved ones in the flesh.(2) I believe the prevalence of
(
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apply
show examples
3
)
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apply
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 international
travel
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 brings about great positive effects on society. With many travellers coming to a country, the demand for housing and food there will likely grow, earning the local
people
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 a great deal of money through providing food and accommodation for travellers.
For instance
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, Thailand is a country that welcomes millions of travellers from around the world annually, thanks to which the tourism industry there flourishes.(4) Thousands of jobs have
also
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 been created,
such
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 as workers in
travel
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 agencies, taxi drivers or tour guides, to serve a great number of international tourists.
Therefore
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, many residents working in
this
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 industry have escaped poverty,avoided unemployment
and
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, and
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 now enjoy a better quality of life. In conclusion,
people
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 these days
travel
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 abroad in order to acquire new knowledge and see friends and family members. In my opinion,
this
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 development is positive
due to
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 its various social benefits

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task response
State your view in the first line and keep this view in all your essay parts.
task response
Give two or three clear reasons and give one main idea for each reason.
structure
Link ideas with easy words like first, next, also, and then.
content
Use real facts or examples for each reason. You have one example of Thailand; add another.
language
Check small grammar and use punctuation well, like removing stray marks ((1),(2)) and fixing commas.
content
You show a clear view that travel is a good thing.
structure
The flow is easy with words like to begin with and second.
content
Ideas are easy to follow and you use an example to support.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • affordability
  • accessibility
  • cultural exchange
  • global connectivity
  • economic contributor
  • environmental impact
  • cultural erosion
  • infrastructure
  • overtourism
  • global perspective
  • socio-economic implications
  • career opportunities
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