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Band 4

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is?

#car #ownership #thirty #years #cities #world #traffic #jams
All
things
 considered, it may be hard to come to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 clear
opinion
 since the fact that congestion is caused by controversial factors. I believe that using public transport by the citizens more frequently
instead
 of the private one
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 would have a positive impact on the roads' hecticness. All
things
 considered, it may be hard to come to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 clear
opinion
 since the fact that congestion is caused by controversial factors. I believe that using public transport by the citizens more frequently
instead
 of the private one
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 would have a positive impact on the roads' hecticness.
However
, if the government make an effort to improve
traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
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 system,
then
 the jams issue will not be so urgent. 2) Summarizing both viewpoints' arguments, alcoholism was a major issue throughout
all the
Correct determiner usage
apply
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times,
thus
 resulting
to
Change preposition
in
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 problems
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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 unemployment, early deaths, serious health diseases and etc. I am a strong advocate of a restricting system
opinion
 since alcohol
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
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 at
the
Correct article usage
a
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 young age may have a severe influence on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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personal forming. If
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 do not control
this
 aspect
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
immatures'
Change noun form
immatures
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 lifestyle,
then
 not understanding the hazard of it might totally destroy their future,
also
 impacting
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the whole fabric of
the
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apply
show examples
society. 3) All
things
 considered, it is well-shown that there is no
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
only true viewpoint and online currencies have both advantages and disadvantages. I believe that
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
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 outweigh the benefits since the fact that people frequently fail in forecasting the valuta's raises and
dicreases
Correct your spelling
decreases
increases
thus
 giving the opportunity (4:43 min) of monopolizing the market by the narrow individuals' circle. If governments continue not
controling
Correct your spelling
controlling
the
Correct article usage
apply
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online currencies as nowadays it will have a
negotiate
Replace the word
negotiating
show examples
 effect
in
Change preposition
from
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 a far perspective. 4) Summarizing all the arguments, I am in favour of the
opinion
 that helping with the housework has a major impact on the children's world perceiving. I believe that it helps to educate independence which will be very
convinience
Correct your spelling
convenience
convenient
 in the future
,
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apply
show examples
 since immatures from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 young age learn how to do
things
 that will be useful for their own
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
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. If they do not do anything except
of
Remove the preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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entertaining
Replace the word
entertain
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 deals,
then
 the
adoptation
Correct your spelling
adoption
 to the adult being will be very complicated.
Submitted by libranefertiti93 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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