IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Multinational companies provides numerous benefits to the people globally. Do you agree or disagree.

#companies #people
It is quite common these days that a significant
number
 of employees of a country work for multinational
companies
.
This
 trend can bring a lot of profits for the residents of these countries.I agree to some extent and in
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
benefits of these
companies
 and give reasons. On the one hand,
this
 trend has a substantial impact on economic growth, since these
companies
 can hire a large
number
 of employees from where they are based, so they can prevent unemployment throughout the country and help impoverished
people
, so they can boost the affordability of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
people
.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 the vast majority of workers of a well-known technology company in my area are local workers.
On the other hand
, international workers have many advantages to multinational
companies
 as well. The shares of the company can have a dramatic increase in
stock
Add an article
the stock
show examples
 market.In
this
way
Add a comma
,way
show examples
 the company can reach a reputation and have more excellence than its competitors.
In addition
, it has a cultural significance, since numerous
people
 with diverse cultures are working together all over the world and it can introduce different cultures to employees,
therefore
 they can learn a various
number
 of facts about
people
 living far away from them. Having weighed up all the arguments, I'm convinced that multinational
companies
 have a large
number
 of interests
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
people
 globally, because of the influence that they have on the economy and culture. In fact, I hold the view that the governments should plan to found more multinational
companies
.
Submitted by khodepooya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • diversity
  • inclusiveness
  • perspectives
  • work ethic
  • turnover rates
  • loyalty
  • skills shortages
  • mentoring
  • expertise
  • ageism
  • stereotypes
  • equitable
  • capacity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: