Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit making companies. Do you think the disadvantage of private health care outweigh the advantages.

#people #health #service #profit #companies #care

The phenomenon of some companies opening private clinics and charging extremely high fees has aroused wide concern among various circles. Divergent as

people

's views on

this

issue in question may be, I believe that

health

care

is important to

people

however

, private medical service would bring us essential advantages which outweigh its disadvantages. Regarding the disadvantages of private

health

care

, probably the most significant one is that most

people

cannot receive the best treatment. To illustrate, private medical organizations provide the best

health

care

with the newest technology, but a massive fee is

also

required. Most

people

cannot even afford it,

hence

, most patients can only bear the pain from the disease as long as they live. Despite the aforementioned disadvantages, I believe that vast income from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

private medical services would benefit all humans.

For instance

, medical research

require

Change the verb form

requires

show examples

a lot of

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

and

talents

Fix the agreement mistake

talent

show examples

Therefore

companies

Change noun form

companies'

company's

show examples

funding is essential to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

medical development.

although

they understand the importance of

health

care

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

, they will no spend any money on any fields that cannot give them a well monetary return.

In other words

, the profit from the medical service is the main reason that medical development growing so fast.

As a result

, more and more diseases have become not deadly. Under

this

line of thinking, it seems to me that most

people

may not able to have the best treatment, but they still can avoid the most serious result from diseases because of the contribution to medical research from those companies.

Submitted by frankyimp on Tue Feb 07 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit making companies. Do you think the disadvantage of private health care outweigh the advantages.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicle will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?

Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting.

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both these views.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.