IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Nowadays, some people like to give help to the local community. Other people prefer to give money to national and international organizations. Discuss both methods and give your own opinion on which is better.

#people #community #money #organizations #methods
Nowadays
people
 like to help the local
community
 and it has proved to become helpful for the pupils who do not have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
basic shelter,
food
Correct word choice
or food
show examples
 to eat. we will
discussing
Change the verb form
discuss
be discussing
show examples
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
recieveing
Correct your spelling
receiving
 the help from
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
community
 and some prefer to give
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 money to national and international organisations.
To begin
 with, there are
people
 who
doesn't
Change the verb form
don't
show examples
 have any basic shelter,
food
Correct word choice
or food
show examples
 and rely on
food
 source
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
thrown
Add a missing verb
are thrown
show examples
 in
garbarge
Correct your spelling
garbage
 by the
community
. They prefer to stay near the side streets, some become mentally retarted for being alone for
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
 of time.
However
, there are some group of
community
 where
they
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 run old age homes which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 funded by the local
community
 and the
governement
Correct your spelling
government
 which takes care of old age
people
 and
people
 who
lacks
Change the verb form
lack
show examples
food
 & shelter in
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 area.
Moreover
, some
people
 give
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 money to
national
Add an article
a national
show examples
 and international
organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
show examples
 where companies like amazon, tech-mahindra,
verizon
Change the capitalization
Verizon
show examples
,
HSBC
Correct word choice
and HSBC
show examples
 run
campaign
Fix the agreement mistake
campaigns
show examples
 to spread the
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
helping
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old age homes and many
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 like that. where employees in
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 are asked to give for cause where they can donate some part of there income
along with
 organisations
also
 give there share the profits of
organisation
Add an article
the organisation
an organisation
show examples
 to the charity. which indirectly help the organisation for getting discount for paying taxes to the government. In my opinion, it would be very helpful
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
national and international companies to give
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 charity as we can
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 more funds
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to the funding which is given
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
community
.
Submitted by leonardo99franklin on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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